In life, we run into situations that oftentimes take our breath away. Situations that consume our full attention. Situations that change our outlook on life. While they can be for the good, bad, or both, these situations define who we become. And there is one situation that most likely defined us all.
That first relationship. That first breakup. Think back. How great everything started out. How it was all you craved and ever wanted – for even a short time you thought life couldn’t get better. Then one day, one minute, one moment ruined it. One moment challenged you like nothing before. That moment also made you who you are. That one moment taught you how it is to lose someone so close to you.
On a gloomy night after I had just completed one of my most vigorous workouts, I realized I forgot to drop something crucial off at my girlfriend’s house. I went over to see her smiling since she noticed I dropped off some chocolates and flowers after her test that day. While those might have temporarily put a smile on her face, her heart was thinking something much different.
Let me give you a tad bit of background before I continue that.
This girl. She grew up without role model parents, she was in student debt, and she didn’t quite know what she wanted. It had been four months at that point, and we had a big vacation planned the upcoming week. Life was great, until that night.
I dropped off those chemistry papers and gave her a kiss before I left. She quietly let me slip out the door. She called me later that night and decided this entire thing wasn’t what she wanted. It hurt. It stung for a bit. That feeling of not being good enough. That feeling of envy for whatever reason.
Months passed, and I was able to reflect on that night and the following week. I was able to grow and realize a couple things about the process and myself that I might not have realized with her.
First of all, I realized that I am good enough. That you are good enough. After the initial reaction, I sat back and thought about what I could’ve done better. I eventually came to the conclusion that we all deserve someone – not someone that matches however attractive we preserve ourselves, but someone that sees our self-worth. Someone that understands us and completes us. There is someone. No matter what your brain says at two am, they are there, and they need you too.
The second of the three lessons was about patience. I was 19 at the time, and it was my first serious relationship. I rushed into it. I ran into something I knew nothing about, and I know I’m not the only one that has done that. So, when you get to be 24 or 30 or 35, continue to be patient. Most fresh-out-of-college youngsters want to live the perfect life. They want to live in a big house with a great girl and just have the American dream.
But until you come to grip with reality, you won’t understand how impossible this is. I had that dream. Those ambitions of something unique. Something no one on earth had ever seen or had. Then after that week, after those months, I realized I have all the time in the world to have that and so do you. Don’t rush anything. Be patient, they will come. They will find you. I believe in fate. How can you not?
The third and final lesson is about the person. If you’ve ever heard the phrase “date your best friend” then take it. Take that advice. There are multiple reasons as to why, but the top is because you know them. You know what breaks them down, what makes them weak, and you can overcome whatever happens together. Having your best friend throughout life would make for something incredibly special, and you, just like me, deserve that.