It’s not time but living that brought me to this point. I no longer hate you, or blame you for what you did to me. This is the letter that I’ve wanted to write to you since the beginning, but wasn’t ready to put words and meaning behind a feeling I couldn’t quite touch. The sad and harsh truth is that you will never be or mean as much to him as you so desperately want to.
When he spun words that you always longed to hear, they meant everything to you and nothing to him. Because in the end, he was getting what he wanted from you at his convenience, and you were playing a game he had rigged from the beginning.
And even though you and him wronged me in cuts that are still healing, I’m sorry that he took advantage of your naivety and adolescent infatuation. I’m sorry that you read more into his ego and insecurity for external affirmation; and I’m sorry that you lack the self-worth and maturity to know that he had been manipulating you since day one. I know you came before me, because we had spoken about you.
When I had confronted you with his infidelity, you defended him with such intense vindication due to your history that I almost pitied you. What you don’t realise is that he had always spoken of you with remorse and shame. He knew he had led you on from the moment you two had fooled around back in school, then university, and that faint promises of togetherness were just empty words to keep you on the backburner, his easy option.
You told me that you both had a special and weird relationship, but in all honesty there wasn’t anything special about what the two of you had. There is difference between sex and love, as you so condescendingly told me, but you cared enough to blur the two by being blinded with your unrequited infatuation. The funny thing is that you two don’t even have a solid friendship to fall back on now.
I hope that in light of the decisions that you have made, your wishful thinking has melted into the reality of who he truly is. I hope that somewhere in that head of yours that you realise how inconsiderate and hurtful you have been towards me, and how it has impacted every single person that cares about him and I. I hope that the next time you’re faced with this similar situation that you’d be wise enough to walk away, because nothing is worth this and karma is a powerful thing.