“She’s a head turner” you write in the caption of your Instagram post. She IS a head turner- I will give you that. You have your arm around her waist as you pose for the perfect photo. I’m assuming you took her as your date to your best friend’s wedding a few weeks ago. The wedding that I was originally supposed to attend with you- as your girlfriend. I wonder if she knows that.
I bet you didn’t think I would see the photo of you and her- probably because you made your account private. But I have some pretty badass, loyal, ride or die friends who I guess you forgot to block- and they showed me. When I saw it, I almost threw up. I didn’t think it would affect me as much as it did. But it hurt. It hurt to see you with another girl. I thought I had already used up all my tears on you, but you were able to squeeze out a few more. Congratulations.
She looks beautiful, she looks young, she looks kind, and she looks wholesome. She’s basically me with blonde hair. This is probably why she is standing at your side in a beautiful cream colored dress. Maybe you guys are casually dating. Maybe you two are just hooking up. Or maybe you just can’t stand to be alone for more than 5 seconds.
Either way, you both look happy. But are you?
You and I know the truth. You and I know how our relationship ended. I left you. I packed up all your things and sent you on your way as you cried and begged me to give you another chance… a third chance. I didn’t want it to be the end for us. I fought myself for months because of it, but in the end you gave me no other choice. I was tired of being mistreated by you. You and I both know why our relationship ended.
You abandoned me and moved to another province, you emotionally abused me, you cheated on me, you lied to me, and you manipulated me. You toyed with my emotions.
You would break me into a million pieces, throw me out to sea, and then fish me out again and try to put me back together. You did this over and over and over again until I just couldn’t take it anymore. You made me become a different person. I was already broken when you first met me and you preyed on that. You wanted to feed your own ego while destroying mine.
You and I both know of the love we shared. It was real. It was fucked up, but it was real. Does she know that you told me that one day you were going to make me your wife? Does she know that you wanted to have children with me, and that we had even picked out their names? Does she know that you told me you loved me after our first month of being together? Does she know that your family loved me and that I loved them? Does she know that you wanted to move in with me? Does she know that if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have even applied to go to school in January? Does she know that you wouldn’t have even been living in this city if it weren’t for my influence? Does she know that you cheated on me, lied to my face for weeks and made me feel like it was my fault that you betrayed me? Does she know that you called my friends and family to apologize for putting me through hell? Does she know that you promised me that you would fix everything? That you would be there for me? That you would start to treat me with respect? No… I bet she doesn’t know any of this.
So I am going to tell her. Whether she reads this or not, I am going to tell her who you are.
Sweet girl, he did love me. He can try to supress his feelings and hide that from you but it will never stop being true. We stopped talking only two months ago, and if he loved me then (which he did), then I can guarantee that he still loves me now. He did see himself marrying me. He did see himself having children with me. He saw himself having an entire lifetime with me. His family loved me and I was starting to feel like I could maybe even call them “my” family in the future.
I know that he is charming, handsome, funny, and he can make you feel like you are the light in his life. But he is a liar.
He is a cheater. He is a narcissist. He is judgmental of people he hasn’t even met. He’s closed minded. He’s controlling and manipulative. He will blame you for his own mistakes. He doesn’t know how to say “I’m sorry” until it’s too late. He’s moody and unpredictable. He is a coward. He will take your love for granted and he won’t respect you, just as he didn’t respect me.
So for your sake, I hope you figure this all out sooner than I did, because if not, he will have the perfect opportunity to try and break you. I don’t know you but you look kind. You look like the type of girl who believes in fairy tales and true love. I can see this because I am just like you. So please, walk away before he tries to ruin your life.
Thankfully, he hasn’t ruined mine… but he almost did. Thankfully I can sleep soundly at night knowing that I did nothing wrong except for loving a man who didn’t deserve me. Thankfully I am not responsible for someone else’s pain and suffering. Thankfully I know that the love I have to give is pure and honest and that I could never break someone’s heart by cheating on them.
Thankfully I know my worth and that I am going to be okay without him. Thankfully I know that one day I will have the love of a REAL man, and that he will never make me feel as horrible as this relationship did.
So now back to you, my cheating, lying, son of a bitch ex-boyfriend. I am happy that you are already seeing someone else. Why? Because now you have finally set me free. You gave me the push that I needed to start moving on with my life. You gave me the courage to write this article. You opened my eyes to FINALLY seeing the REAL you… and guess what? The real you is not who I loved. I loved the character you played and boy did you play it well.
The truth really does set you free and I’m just starting to see how liberating it all is. I may not be 100% over what you did to me, but I am on my way to getting there.