I recently got out of a long relationship (hold the sympathy), and once it ended I realized how immature he was. I noticed how much he brought me down and how happy I am now that he isn’t in my life anymore.
I wish I noticed all these things before; maybe I could’ve avoided getting so hurt. It sucks because immature guys can be the sweetest guys you know, but unfortunately they are usually very self-absorbed. The only thing that might make him mature is time and experience. It may not be worth it to be along on this emotionally draining journey.
1. They constantly blame you, leading you to feel like shit.
The worst thing about dating someone who’s immature is that they can’t take blame. They constantly feel like all the blame is being placed on them, and they’re always reluctant to apologize. They get extremely defensive and mad when they’re accused of being in the wrong, even when they are. They make you feel guilty and horrible for even getting mad at them. It doesn’t even matter if what they did was wrong; they will turn it around on you.
2. Lying is second nature to them, so you develop trust issues.
They lie about everything—even the stupidest things such as reading a text or hugging someone. Whatever it is, they will lie about it. The best and worst part is that they suck at it. “I didn’t see that text.” Yes, you did. It said “Delivered.” You got it. Stop. I know you’re lying.
3. They can’t stick to their word, so you constantly doubt everything they say.
They make promises and say they’re going to do something that never happens. They will swear on their life that it’ll happen, but somehow it doesn’t. They always find a way to break promises, even the smallest ones. Eventually you learn to not expect anything from them.
4. Excuses, excuses.
You name it, they’ve said it.
“My phone was off!” Well, the call didn’t go straight to voicemail like a normal phone would do when it’s off, but good try.
“She was hitting on ME!” Oh, I didn’t realize that meant you had to automatically flirt back.
“I fell asleep.…” I didn’t know it was possible to take selfies of yourself smoking weed in your sleep. You talented fucker.
5. You always have to play detective.
The lies and evasion make you feel like a detective seeking to catch them in the wrong. And even though you’ve caught them 100 times, they still feel like they can be sneaky. Don’t try—we see you. We are girls; we see everything. And if we don’t see it, we can sense it happening. We usually feel like something bad is about to happen. It’s called intuition.
6. They only make you truly happy after they’ve broken you down.
Yeah, they make you smile, but that’s only after they’ve broken you down with their immature acts. They only apologize after you start crying to let them know they’ve hurt you. And they shouldn’t feel good about getting me out of a depressive state when they’re the one who put me there.
7. They only care when it’s convenient for them.
“I’m with the boys.” You’re kidding, right? I’m sorry that when I need you, you’re allowed to be MIA, but the second I can’t talk it’s like the world ended. It’s called being there for someone you care about. If I can step away from the girls for 10 minutes to call you and cheer you up, you can do the same.
8. They get mad at the WORST times.
They never understand when it’s a very bad time for them to get mad. They tend to ruin the moments in your life that were supposed to be important and fun. Whether it’s a day at the beach, your birthday, or any other holiday, it doesn’t matter because if they are mad, they will show it. Stop throwing a tantrum and pouting and pretend you love me for two seconds until we aren’t around everyone.
9. They never understand.
The main thing you need to understand about them is that they never understand. No matter how many times you try to explain to them how you’re feeling, what you want, or how stupid they’re acting, they will never get it. Instead, they get even madder. No matter how good your intentions are, somehow it turns into a personal attack, and they don’t fucking get it. Suddenly you can’t even be bothered to help anymore because it’s going to end up in a fight. But of course they don’t realize that, either, and eventually they get mad at you for not understanding.