First impressions are everything, especially on the Internet. After working for one of the world’s largest dating sites for over four years, I’ve often received feedback from users finding it difficult to connect with someone.
Men will often send out a ton of messages on and find themselves coming up short in the reply department. Women are most often not sending enough (or any) messages because they’re too busy waiting to be wooed. The truth is, they’re both failing miserably for a reason.
Sending that first message to another user can mean the difference between an amazing new romance and a Friday night at home with Ben and Jerry.
Here are the 10 messages that guarantee you WON’T get a reply.
I can’t begin to express how frustrating it is to not only be called “cutie” (I am a GROWN WOMAN) by a total stranger but to throw in a “we should chat sometime hmu.” This is first-message suicide. I’m pretty sure this has been sent to about 100 other users in hopes they will “hit you up.” If you were really interested in chatting and getting to know someone, you’re going to need to put down more than a sentence. Give me something to work with. Mention an interest listed on my profile or something we could converse about; otherwise it’s going to go to Nowheresville fast.
So you mean this isn’t a site for tips on growing better potatoes? In most cases with a message like this, the person means well. However, announcing your single status is useless here. Scale it back on the lifelong love stuff because let’s face it; I’m probably checking my Tinder profile after this.
Read the profile and gauge what kind of relationship they’re looking for first. Take it SLOW. Also, check your grammar and spelling. Many people are huge sticklers for those details.
OK, whoa. On the Internet, if you’re using Caps Lock, you’d better be Kanye West or 90 years old. Otherwise, you’re screaming at me. Please refrain. Good try on the Spanish, though!
Great start! This probably would receive a response if you’d included a thing or two included in my profile in that “About Me” section we all grudgingly fill out. Was it my selfies? Was it something you related to? If you’re viewing my profile and would love to know more, mention something you noticed about me, or ask a question to learn more.
This isn’t exactly a snowstorm in July. We are both on an online dating site, so crazier things have happened than you coming across my profile. My dog also tells me every day that I’m attractive. You will need to put in a little more effort.
Anyone who includes their phone number in a first contact message can step to the left. Stay away from these people 100% of the time.
More often than not, these are questions you’d know the answer to had you taken the time to read my profile. What brings me here? My dog needs a father figure so he’ll stop peeing in the yard like a girl. Next!
Good Lord. There’s always that one person who just unleashes every last thing you need to know in their initial message. While I always recommend being upfront and honest about your intentions and situation, there’s a little sense of TMI, especially when this is your opening. Too little can be boring; too much can be sensory overload and a general turnoff for any potential dates. A first message is geared to be an icebreaker, not a therapy session.
While people certainly shouldn’t judge your sexuality, you’re coming on a bit strong with this one. At least save this for our third date.
One of THE oldest and most commonly used Internet pickup lines. It’s unoriginal and has been used since the Internet was blessed with cat videos. We know you didn’t write this witty (yet creepy) line yourself. NEXT!