I Am Totally The Female ‘Good Luck Chuck’

I stood on the corner of the downtown club area, sobbing uncontrollably and hugging myself for comfort. The streets were filled with the sights and sounds of drunken, slurred laughter and slow, delayed footsteps stumbling along the pavement. Male buddies leaned against each other for comfort and women walked barefoot in the street. As I stood there by myself on this night, I thought to myself, “How could someone leave me like this? How could someone desert me at a nightclub with no word, no warning, and no answer of my phone calls?”

Before I launch into an explanation of this, let me state something: I am the female Good Luck Chuck. No, I am not sleeping with random men to give them a fulfilling, happy, marital relationship like Dane Cook did in the feature film, but these types of scenarios always happens to me. Men I have casually dated, men who have swore to me that they don’t “do relationships” (as if it were some menial house task), men who swore they liked me, have found a happy, lasting relationship weeks after dating me. Why? Because as aforementioned, I am the female Good Luck Chuck.

It all started when I was 18. I gave everything to someone we will call Motorcycle. And yes, it was as awkward as the first time always is. The next night I went to visit him, and as a house party went on, his bedroom door was shut, both literally and metaphorically. He was with someone who he later dated for years and then proposed to.

The next Good Luck Chuck scenario was in college, with someone named Family Business. After a brief fling and blowout when I discovered he was hooking up with my roommate/”best friend”, he found love in a woman who was the antithesis of me: early bedtime, clean lexicon, and a love for the color pink. They too, dated on and off for years. Funny enough, the new girlfriend also ended up dating another guy I was with, who swore to me he didn’t want a relationship or anything serious but hey, still liked me. It was two Good Luck Chuck situations that benefited the same woman, the unicorn of dating scenarios.

Next was Wannabe Musician, whose dating time with me was a mere laid back 4 months. He showed up to an ugly sweater party looking dashingly handsome in a suit and tie, Marlon Brando in the 1950s style. In the nightclub we headed to after, he motioned that he was going to make a call. A half hour later, I went to inform him that we were leaving. He wasn’t there. He didn’t pick up his phone, and his truck was indeed gone. He didn’t even have the decency to text me that he left, hence why I was left hugging myself and crying in paragraph one.

Fast forward to a few years, and my most recent situation was almost devastatingly embarrassing. A former coworker I had casually dated found a new job yet we still kept in touch and spoke almost every day. This included him texting me to come over and, you know, “hang out”. After he called me and I confirmed that yes, I was heading to our former job’s happy hour and he should indeed show up, he made an appearance…with his new girlfriend, a chain smoking, complacent woman that was 5 years older than us. I felt as if I got punched in the stomach, even more so when coworkers posed the question, “Wait, aren’t you guys dating?” I smiled a forced smile and said, “No”, although it was definitely news to me. A year later, they are still together. I assume he was seeing us both, but for how long? And how many others were there? At a recent house party, someone remarked they were “sooooo cute” together. Yeah, really cute that he failed to man up and tell me that we were not seeing each other anymore. Bring your new girl to a job happy hour that I still work at instead, that’s the right way to do it.

Sure, it seems like these guys were all douches with no respect for woman but these scenarios are my fault. How, you ask? I played the Cool Girl role. Yes, it’s fine that I can drive to you but you won’t come see me. No worries that you cancelled plans to see me on my birthday because you were getting wasted with your buddies, I understand because I don’t want to look mad or psycho. Why OF COURSE you can walk all over me, I love it! I don’t deserve happiness in a real relationship, anyway!

I’ve been screwed over, abandoned, lied to, and made a fool of. I’m tired of it. I’ve learned my lesson but most of all, I’ve learned how to have more self respect for myself. I’m not going to be Good Luck Chuck anymore. As you can guess, I have never had a real boyfriend. I’ve been pretty much single for the 24, almost 25, years of my life but through it all, I realize that I know how not to be treated and how to be independent. I don’t need a man in my life to determine my self worth, but I sure as shit know that if I want a man in my life, he will respect my self worth. I’ve learned not to be someone’s backup plan, or run eagerly to someone who did me wrong because he broke up with the girl he tossed me away for. Lastly and most importantly, I know that although these men, correction, these boys will let me down, I won’t let myself down. And that is the greatest lesson a woman can ever learn. TC mark


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