Thought Catalog

For The People Who Give Too Much While Trying To Fix The Ones They Love

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Diana Simumpande

It’s true, there isn’t many of them around – those who will stop at no end to help others through their hard times. These days, it’s rare. But trust me when I say these kinds of people do still exist. They’re usually the first person people approach when they need advice. Because they always understand and they always listen, but they never judge.

Usually, they have experienced pain themselves. And so, they know how it feels and their initial reaction is to help.

But sometimes, those people give their all trying to fix somebody else, and eventually, it takes its toll on them.

Giving is both a gift and a curse. There is such syndrome as giving too much. This is what it feels like:

Sometimes you will find you have no energy for yourself, because you’re just giving it all to other people. You almost feel empty because you’ve put so much time, focus, energy and effort into one’s life that your energy is completely drained. Maybe, it’s because you’re willing to do THAT much for a person? I’m not sure.

Sometimes constantly giving isn’t just pretty colours, it’s a dark shade, too.

Sometimes your conversations become only about what’s wrong in their life and the misery transfers from them to you. You start carrying it too. Due to this, you will probably feel like you need a huge break from that person. And you shouldn’t be apologising for that.

It’s almost like you lose yourself for a hot minute, trying to comprehend things. It’s always on your mind. You generate a burden on yourself innocently and unintentionally, because you’re always giving, giving and giving.

It’s difficult not to be emotionally attached to someone else’s problems. You try not to get emotionally invested in what they tell you, but the feelings can be hard to ignore. There is a fine line between helping someone and falling with them. You give so much that you’re weighed down by it. Please, learn to detach from someone else’s life. You know why?

Because you don’t need to fight someone else’s battle.

Sometimes you will feel like you’ve been punched in the heart. Because not only do you hear them speak, you imagine yourself walking in their shoes. Sometimes you get so caught up in other people’s lives, that you forget you are struggling too. While everything else is mentally exhausting, you’re trying to save yourself at the same time. Just because you’re not voicing your own problems, doesn’t mean they’re not there.

I praise counsellors and psychologists, for their ability to let go. I think we must always remember, you can’t fix everybody. And it’s not your job to do so. TC mark

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