This Game You Play Is Driving Her Away

I’m Priscilla

She’s angry because she loves you. That’s really the root of it all. She loves you so deeply. Meaning the issue isn’t that she doesn’t believe you when you say you love her. She isn’t afraid to lose you, because at the end of the day she knows you love her. She just doesn’t want to play repeat. She doesn’t want this to be like her past relationships.

In the past, she drove her lovers away because of her jealousy, and she’s come a long way from that kind of attitude. Do not destroy the progress of self-love that she has built up in your ignorance. She wants to keep you not lose you.

She doesn’t want to be jealous, because in a way it takes away from her freedom to love you fearlessly. Because if she gets jealous then she gets mad at you, and when she gets mad at you then she doesn’t want to talk to you because if she talks to you she will talk to you through her anger instead of through love. And again, love is the root.

She knows that this does not justify her feeling jealous because jealousy is not right. It’s her own insecurity and fears talking. The problem arises when you surface up insecurities inside of her that were never even there in the first place.

Jealousy is like an ugly, uninvited spider because it calculates every single little detail unnecessarily. It crawls too quickly to assumptions and forms false imaginations. It is more ready to attack, than to stand down and listen. It resolves nothing. Trying to make her jealous does not make her see your worth more. It blinds her to it. You don’t use jealousy to protect your relationship, because what it will actually do is destroy it. Her eyes get filled with the idea that she has to compete for your affections and be more than the breath-taking person she already is. Which is why she becomes possessive, and that is not love. Love is not possessive. Possessing someone is having total control over them in a selfish way. Total control and captivity. That’s not what she wants. She doesn’t want you to feel caged in.

You making her jealous doesn’t make her want to keep you more, it makes her want to let you go, because it drives a huge gap of mistrust between you both.

If you really cared for her, you would fear pushing her away, which is exactly what you did when you constantly told her when a girl DM’ed you on Snapchat or hit on you at a party. You mess with her emotions, so instead of her genuinely celebrating your worth and enjoying you, she wants to avoid you and you ruined her day. This reaction is not one of weakness. It’s because she has a soft and sensitive heart, especially when it comes to you.

When you play the jealousy card on her, you never get the results you desired. Maybe you took her reaction as a positive sign that she cares about you, however all she got out of it was uncertainty and stress. So stop. She already knows how amazing you are. Do not torture her. If you feel the need to use jealousy to get her attention, then there is already a problem. Either with you or her. She does not need to worship you for you to feel certain of her faithfulness.

Meaning the issue of you provoking jealousy is based on one of two things. Either your immaturity or your insecurity. Or maybe both. It is immature of you to toy with her peace of mind and confidence just for the purpose of boosting your ego. You intentionally do this to get her upset. Instigating jealousy speaks very much of your insecurity as well. It means you need some kind of validation from her that is actually your lack of confidence screaming. You don’t have confidence in yourself. You don’t have confidence in each other’s vows of faithfulness.

The fact of the matter is love, that through trying to get her jealous, you surface up ugliness and insecurity, when you should really be the one that brings out the best in her.

So unless you want to lose her, stop. Stop playing games. Figure out whatever your personal problem is. Fix it, heal it, confront it, admit it, drop it and move forward with the girl that you love. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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