Being a gentleman is not just about knowing how to dress. It is not wearing a button-down and pants with an expensive watch and hash tagging, “Gentleman” on Instagram. Instead, you would dress nicely, first and foremost because it brings you personal satisfaction. You wouldn’t just dress nice on a Saturday night to win a list of girls’ numbers. You would always be well taken care of and dressed nicely because you also understand that how you dress reflects your respect for others.
As a gentleman, you would never dress in a wife-beater and jeans on a first, second, heck, any date with a woman because you respect her enough to know that this woman is worthy of you putting in the extra effort. You would want to let her know that you respect her enough to take the extra minutes to shave, put on cologne and fix the house up if she is visiting – be it a woman of romantic interest or not.
Being a gentleman is not going around kicking some guy’s ass because you have problems dealing with your jealousy. A gentleman lifts up his fists to protect someone in danger. Anger issues and insecurity is not romantic or honorable.
Being a gentleman is not having a silver tongue, nor is it speaking with eloquence and having a wide vocabulary. It’s about being sincere in what you say through those words. You don’t just throw around compliments to people because you know it’s what they want to hear. You would say a woman is beautiful because you freaking mean it. It is about actually being genuine in what you say to people. Not just talking out of your ass.
Being a gentleman is not just being chivalrous through actions such as opening doors and pushing in chairs. Manners are important, but it’s about your motive behind the action. A dirt bag can do the same action, with selfish motives. If you were a real gentleman, you would continue to tuck in a woman’s seat and close her side of the car door, whether she decides to sleep with you or not. You would continue to treat a woman kindly because it is your way of honoring her. Even if she turns you down, you would gracefully respect her decision without pushing, yelling or accusing her that she must be crazy or a lesbian for not falling for you already – whether it was a friend or a girlfriend or even a stranger.
In the good and the bad, and even when you’re angry, you would never treat a woman like trash, because it’s really wouldn’t be in your nature.
Being a gentleman means using words of respect. A real gentleman would never call a woman a ‘slut’ or a ‘whore’ one moment, and the next be calling that same woman ‘gorgeous,’ or ‘beautiful’ or ‘breath-taking.’ It doesn’t matter if your woman was being terrible, wrong, temperamental, “on her period,” in the middle of a fight or otherwise – you would never curse her out because you would remember, consciously or subconsciously, that you love her.
Being a gentleman is not being able to get multiple girls. It’s about being able to keep one girl.
It is not having the capacity to get girls hooked on you because of your looks. That’s easy. If you were a real gentleman, you would be real, open and transparent enough for your attraction to be based on that. You would stand tall, shoulders back, not because you’re putting on airs, but because you actually have high self-esteem whether you get hit on or not.
You wouldn’t have to work the room and get a few drinks in you to rack up numbers and score dates. You would attract people naturally because of your confidence. If you were a real gentleman, you wouldn’t be proud to say how all the girls in the room want you. You would be boasting about how the one woman that you have been giving your time and attention to, finally trusts you and how you’ve won her heart.
Being a real gentleman means not boasting about the woman you slept with last night or the latest heart you broke. As a real gentleman, you would never lead a girl on, knowing that it was going nowhere and telling her pretty little lies just to satisfy your ego. You wouldn’t tell a girl what she wants to hear just to have a warm body next to you for a few nights. You would reserve your time, attention and affections for a woman you genuinely wanted to have a real relationship with.
Being a real gentleman means impressing a girl by being yourself. You wouldn’t need to go to the newest five-star restaurant because it wouldn’t compare to the home cooked dinner, if it was done with a heart of service. A real gentleman knows that while diamonds are enticing, offering up your heart is a much greater gift.
Being a real gentleman means not fearing love.
The mark of a gentleman is not in a certain look or style. It is in your character. A gentleman is not exclusively for those with high positions. A gentleman can be found wearing a t-shirt and jeans. A gentleman may be your waiter, the mailman or the bagel boy.
As a gentleman, you make mistakes. You are not always in control of your emotions. You aren’t always ready to be put on the cover of GQ magazine. No, you are not always in the best of moods to entertain. A gentleman can’t always be superman. But as a gentleman, you always strive to be better. To correct your wrongs. To care and respect the people in your life.
You would go back and tie up loose ends.
You would take responsibility.
You would simply be a man that continues to do his best, day by day.