If you’re reading this, I want to first say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that the title of this resonated enough with you that you felt the urge to click on this. Secondly, I want to say I’m proud of you. “Proud? Why?” I’m sure you may be thinking. And my answer to that is this: it takes an incredibly brave individual to do something so uncomfortable. Because I know it’s uncomfortable, not only to come to terms with the fact that you feel worthless, but also to allow yourself a chance at a hope that you’re not entirely sure you even believe in anymore.
But here you are. You may feel like you’re not fighting anymore, and perhaps you feel as if you’ve lost the fight all together, but I beg to differ. It takes a fighter to click on an article like this, when your head is screaming at you that you don’t even deserve to live, let alone, do something that might help you.
Because that’s the hardest part isn’t it? Worthless is miserable, but after a while it becomes comfortable. It feels like home. It’s living hell, but in a way when you’ve been beaten down for so long you begin to think you deserve to feel the pain and anguish you do. You’re numb. Life feels obsolete. The voices in your head hiss lies that you’d be better off dead. That the world would be a better place without you. At first it seems Ludacris, and then before you know it you start to trust those voices. They become your best friend, your only friend. They promise you a way out, but the only way out is death, which isn’t really a way out of the pain at all. It simply transfers that same pain onto those you love the most.
But here is the thing, those voices… they aren’t the friends you think they are. They aren’t out to help you, to free you. They don’t care for you. The truth is, they hate you. They want not only to destroy everything you love, but also to take your life completely. You know what? They may be convincing, but they’re anything less than creative. They play the same games over and over; they use the same old tricks. And they are cowards. They wait until you’re at your weakest, and pounce when you are barely holding on.
Your secrets keep you sick. But the truth, the truth will set you free. And that, that is why I’m writing to you. I haven’t lived your hell, but I’ve been to my own. I know it feels like there is only one way out, and that’s to leave this life all together. But it’s not. That’s the farthest thing from the truth.
The truth is, you are stronger than all of this. You’re smarter than your demons. You’re more lovely than you can ever imagine. You are courageous, and brave. And you’re going to make it through this.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And the best part is, when you reach that light, when you’re basking in the freedom and joy, you will be hit with an incredible realization. And that is this: that light that guided you to the very end of the tunnel was the light that is you. You were the light all along. The demons had you convinced that your light was completely burnt out. That there was no life left in you. But here you are, illuminating the essence that is you and the earth that surrounds you.
Dig deep brave one. You are a light. You are the light. I know you feel like this pain will never end. But when you find yourself going through hell, the only way out is to keep going. You have it in you. I know you do.
I know this feels like a curse. Like a death sentence, but it’s quite the opposite. What it really is, is a blessing in disguise. Because not only is this struggle making you stronger, but when you beat it, you are given a beautiful gift. And that is the gift of understanding, the gift of hope. You have the power to not only overcome this, but to put every ounce of pain you once felt, and transform it into helping spread hope to others.
You are going to be free someday. You can be free today if you wish. At any given moment you can decide that you will no longer live a lie. It won’t be easy, and it won’t be instant. But the moment you decide to fight this is the moment you regain control over your life. Keep fighting the good fight my friend. And remember this: the depth to which you experience suffering, pales in comparison to the depth to which you will be able to experience healing, freedom, hope, and love.
Freedom is right in front of you. You deserve it. Those demons are cowards, but you my friend, are made solely of courage. Take my hand; we’ll walk this road together. You are never alone, not now, not ever.