7 Things I Hate About Breakups

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Breakups suck. But sometimes, the breakup itself isn’t what sucks the most. It’s everything that comes with it, like…

1. The expectation that you must “better yourself.”

Do I really need to join the gym, lose 20 lbs, become the next social do-gooder, travel the world, adopt a pet… just to prove I’m doing OK? Yeah, I’d rather not. Let me have my nutella and Ben & Jerry’s with a side of pizza.

2. The assumption that I need to learn to “love myself.”

I’m the f*cking bee’s knees. Trust me when I say loving myself is not the problem. It’s loving him.

3. Others think it’s OK to share their “true feelings” about your ex.

Way to kick me when I’m down, friend/family. If you didn’t tell me before, why would you do so now? Please, save it. You’re true feelings about my breakup don’t matter. Mine do.

4. Getting angry at yourself for feeling hurt/mad/angry/sad.

It hurts like a bitch to be thrown to the side by someone you loved, and you shouldn’t expect to bounce right back up. Let yourself cry, be mad, delete them off social media. Soon enough it’ll heal, but the bad emotions are just as important as the good ones.

5. Oh yeah, social media.

6. When every other guy pops out of the woodworks.

Does my Facebook relationship status read ready to rebound? I appreciate your effort, but no. Have a little self-respect and leave the recently single out of your ulterior motives. Unless I initiate… then that’s a different story.

7. Feeling the need to rebound with old trash.

WHY? Just why? In the wake of a breakup, you want to think there’s hope in past failed relationships, but stop kidding yourself. That sex buddy will (most likely) not be your future spouse. If you’re gonna rebound, at least get a taste of something new.