Natalia Vela

You’ve always been there. Treading the shallow waters of my consciousness. Never straying too far from land.

They lay a finger on you and you shudder. They call you “babe” and it used to make you feel warm, but now all you can think about is how you don’t want to hear that come out their mouth anymore.

I’m thinking about your bottom lip, about how tender it felt between my teeth. I’m thinking about your mouth, about how it stopped my world, how it got me high, how I never wanted to come down.

It hurt. Doing this hurt. Caring about him hurt. Being his friend hurt. Loving him hurt. Letting him go for a final time, letting him go in all seriousness hurt. And I still am not sorry, I still wouldn’t take any of it back.

It’s thoughts of your hands, my lips, your mouth, my skin. And there’s an aching for something not here. A longing for something hollowed out from my body. I pretend I never loved you, I’m afraid I always will.

If you’re going to love someone who has been cheated on, do it wholeheartedly, do so with purity. Unpack your baggage in front of them. Let them in. Doing so makes this person feel not only like you trust them, but like they can feel comfortable trusting you and doing the same.

I think I’d much prefer it this way until I hold hands with someone who makes me feel like the stars tangled themselves between our fingers.

I wouldn’t mind it, being in a room alone with you, getting to know you, opening myself up. I just find myself intrigued by you. I’ve never been more curious. I have a feeling we speak the same language.