1. The passing through guy
This guy is on a journey, and in your vicinity for less than two days. He is a twenty-something who is driving his shitty car through the United States for “spiritual enlightenment”. Something is off about him but you hope that he isn’t secretly running away from a failed marriage (hello!). If he is attractive you will act fast, and he will ask you to hangout, but you will dodge it. However, later in the night you will think it’s a good idea for him to come over and meet your friends. He may or may not end up sleeping on your couch (or in your bed) and you will try to sleep with him, but he is actually trying to sleep since he’s been camping in his car.
2. The college student
He is looking to hook up. The hockey player, the art major, the white guy who is REALLY into rap, etc. His ideal conversation starter might be “Hi : )” or “I see you also like…” or maybe even a straight to the point “let’s hook up!” whatever it is this guy is not looking to be your friend, but he is looking for head. When you meet him you’ll remember that guys don’t really stop being shitty until age 30.
3. The guy who shouldn’t be on tinder.
You’re confused with this charming and handsome professional. The messages you exchange are stimulating, you have things in common, and you make plans to see each other in a non booty-call setting. When you meet him he seems mentally and emotionally stable and he has a career. You are confused by his matching IKEA furniture and why a guy like him is on tinder in the first place. By the fourth date you realize he doesn’t understand the concept of Tinder because he hasn’t even laid a hand on you.
4. The dude you accidentally liked.
You made a mistake because your thumb twitched or you were drunk. It’s happening though, this guy is severely interested and while you’re trying to figure out or remember how to block people he is persistently messaging you. He wants to see you and hang out with you at ungodly hours of the night and never fails to end each message with a winky face.
5. The one guy you keep seeing around town.
This is awkward. He either works at the grocery store you most frequent and saw you buy lots of ice cream; you ran into him in a bookshop but couldn’t tell if it was him so you kept staring until you made eye contact; or he’s in one of your classes. Whatever the situation is, you can’t get away from this dude and it doesn’t seem like either one of you will ever not be weird about it.