40 Things You Can Only Get Away With In College

Photographee.eu / (Shutterstock.com)
Photographee.eu / (Shutterstock.com)
  1. Ironing clothes while you are wearing them.
  2. Using a hair straightener as an iron.
  3. Urinating anywhere other than a restroom.
  4. Multiplying your closet by the average number of roommates and/or guests in your home.
  5. Using a wine bottle as a rolling pin to make Christmas cookies…for your parents.
  6. Having no shame in eating a spoonful of peanut butter, jar in hand, while walking to class; the same goes for eating cereal out of a Solo cup.
  7. Believing that drinking while doing any mundane activity makes it inherently more fun.
  8. Day drinking.
  9. Hitting “snooze” for an hour.
  10. Wearing the same clothes for a period lasting longer than 24 hours.
  11. Spending an entire day watching the latest Netflix binge in order to ignore responsibilities.
  12. Wearing sweatpants for more than just errands and sleep.
  13. Eating burritos every day for a month by choice; eating cold beans out of a can for a month, not by choice.
  14. Your concept of time is based on when you eat.
  15. Stealing to-go condiment cups from the cafeteria to make Jell-O shots.
  16. Stealing cups, plates, and utensils from dining halls.
  17. Using the abandoned clothing in public laundry rooms as your personal shopping mall.
  18. Finding a stranger’s laundry in your own and trying your best to rationalize keeping it.
  19. Substituting vodka for hand sanitizer.
  20. Purchasing wine in a box—without shame. (C’mon, they’re stackable that way.)
  21. Waking up with half of your makeup on your pillow and the other half on your face.
  22. Stealing trashcan lids and serving trays to go sledding.
  23. Parties.
  24. Knowing where to get a used blowup doll on short notice.
  25. Using a paper towels as coffee filters.
  26. Having Domino’s on speed dial.
  27. Believing that it is perfectly normal to have a bed in your living room.
  28. Having a couch on your front porch.
  29. Naming your living space anything other than “home.”
  30. Your recycling bin is filled with 90% bottles.
  31. Stealing signs to use as “urban décor.”
  32. “Repurposing” “found” items.
  33. Mopping floor using dish soap, water, and a towel while dancing to what is probably Taylor Swift.
  34. Shower beer/shower food.
  35. Drinking from items <em>other</em> than glasses.
  36. Using hashtags in conversation.
  37. Referring to BuzzFeed as your one and only source of news.
  38. Using the words “ratchet,” “turn up,” or “twerk” in an unironic context.
  39. Dumpster-diving for groceries, but paying for valet parking.
  40. Overdrawing your account because of “Thirsty Thursday” and/or Chipotle. TC mark

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