It wasn’t always like this. Your life hadn’t always consisted of careful steps and constant flinching every time you thought you had stepped too close to the edge of something. You were told when you were a little girl that humans are inherently bound to be scared to that which they cannot understand, but now you start to think that perhaps- perhaps it is not that they are scared of the unknown, but of not knowing how to approach it.
You are hesitant of fragile things in fear of the reckless strength of your calloused hands, and yet you are terrified of the indestructible matter that ever comes close to your grasp.
There was a time when you were not scared of any of these things. You close your eyes and sometimes think of the way it felt to love someone a while ago. You realize that you never really knew how to love, but you just never had to worry about how to do it, there was no fear of abandonment because when two people loved each other that much, how could they possibly not be fated to one another?
And when it didn’t last forever, you were left with a book that was not to be full of the dimple on their left cheek, or the way they scrunched their nose when they laughed. They had been a chapter and you had been left with a blank book that was meant to be filled of you.
You didn’t need to be saved, and you never did.
You used to be the mold for whatever they wanted you to be that day, and now you’re a storm. Wild, untamable. They tell you they doesn’t recognize you. You smile every time.
People fall in love with you by the second date, because you’re a challenge. A prize to be won by the strongest suitor with the prettiest flowers and golden tongue.
But you have heard it all. And all those beautiful words once whispered to you in hushed tones did nothing to your stone cold heart. Until they came along, and didn’t even have to try. You found yourself slowly slipping into open hands, but their hands do not wish to capture you like the others, they just want to hold you.
They show you beautiful things that you had never noticed in familiar places. They kiss you and you reach out, to pull closer, they’re never close enough.
You love them.
They love you too.
They are nothing like you because they’re fearless. They love your rough edges and your messy hair. They think you’re beautiful and when they look at you, you can tell. They will learn your favorite songs and play them for you, they sing them to you and make you sing along.
You graduated from the university of broken hearts and your degree makes you think that you are qualified to tell the difference between forever and a while. However you must remember that not all the things you learn in school are applicable to real life situations. They chose to love you without reservation, and showed you their universe. You swam through those constellations and fell in love.
You must know that the only right way to love someone is to do it entirely, bravely.
They are not your past, so you must learn to stop looking for warning signs. Don’t expect them to promise you forever because they can’t, and you can’t either. When they reach for your hand, don’t be scared to grab onto it. Don’t hold on too tightly, give them a place to call home but don’t lock the doors once they get inside. Every day they stay will be another day they chose to love you. Tell them you love them, because you do.
Recognize that they might not be the one that stays, but can you really think of anyone more deserving of breaking your heart than the one that loves you completely?
If you want to know how to love, love someone like they will never break your heart.