I don’t know who you are, where you are from. Before I start writing out the lyrics to a Backstreet Boys song let me just say: you are going to be alright.
I know that’s such cliché answer. However, it’s only a cliché if you don’t believe it. I just want you to know that whatever it is you’re going through – everything will sort itself out.
It won’t be right this minute, today, tomorrow. It takes time.
Time doesn’t give much room for speed. It also doesn’t give much room for mercy, grace and joy if you only see time as an obstruction to your happiness.
Look, there will be things that will come at you like a right hook going for the jugular and you will sometimes be unable to fend that off. Sometimes you take a hit. The shame, the anger, the anguish, the guilt and the pain will knock you out if you let it. However, given time to learn how to fight back the monsters trying to beat you down – some things will be a little easier to handle.
Look, you might be wondering: what does this chick know?
I know because I’ve been in some deeply, terrifyingly dark places too. I’ve faced monsters the size of Goliath, taking beating after emotional beating. I have had to work my away around the landmines in my brain. I’ve had to ask myself tough questions and find a way to answer them. I’ve had good days that get tarnished by my own attitude. I’ve had to escape moments of terrible self-pity.
And I’m still doing all of that.
It’s the toughest battle to face. It still wears on me. My heart and my mind get exhausted. I feel like maybe today is going to be my last day. Then I remind myself why I keep fighting and why you can do this too. I fight because I can’t let the monsters win.
For some this is not a good enough answer. For others, this answer will make sense.
The truth is: the monsters are always going to be there. They aren’t going to go away. However, they can be tamed. They can be conquered through love, understanding and grace.
There will be moments where you feel as if life isn’t worth it. That if you leave that no one will miss you. I know you may not feel or see it now because of the pain.
The thing is, when you’re feeling the most lost – look up.
I do this all the time, I go outside and just look up. I look up at the sky, look up at the clouds. I just look up – the very act reminding me that I’m part of a wild wide space. I’m part of a world where somewhere out there, someone is like me feeling these deep, dark terrible things. I’m part of a world where somewhere out there someone’s dealing with their own monsters. I remind myself in that moment that I am not alone.
So if you’re reading this needing hope, wisdom and light: you may feel lonely right now. You know – the kind of deep, dark loneliness that’s like a gaping maw about to consume your soul.
You’re going to be alright. You’re going to figure out a way to step away from that wicked edge. You’re going to look up. You’re going to fight with everything you’ve got – regardless how tired you are. You are not going to let that monster win.
Most importantly you’ll remember, you’re not alone and that this is from someone out there who is telling you: I’m with you in your fight.
So come on warrior, let’s do this thing.