When people ask me what we are, I just brush their thoughts off and act as if it does not bother me. It bothers me, to not know what to say. It bothers me to not know what we really are. It bothers me because I know that the only way to find out is to ask you. But I choose not to because I’m afraid of what you’re going to say.
Despite this, I may have the answer to this unanswered question. Not an actual answer but a choice. A choice to be happy, a choice to stay.
I choose to hold on.
What we have is already complicated and is more complicated because of the distance between us. I see you through a screen and hear your voice through countless wavelengths and satellites. Funny how we’re 15,000 miles apart yet by just a click and through signals it doesn’t feel like it at all. You’re within reach, and I’m trying to hold on to you. Holding on to someone 15,000 miles, three oceans and continents far away from me.
I choose to love you.
With all my heart, falling for you every day. It’s not romantic nor platonic. It’s something special, probably a bond or an unspoken promise to love each other against all odds. It’s all about making each other feel butterflies in our stomachs. Or to make each one feel afloat. It’s love not to be named but to be felt. This is the most genuine thing I can give you and I know this is enough.
It no longer matters what will happen in the future. What matters is that I have you now, in my life. What matters is that we are here to make each other happy in any way. What matters is that what we have now, this is enough. You are enough. With everyday, I will be making a choice. A choice that I know I deserve to make.
I choose to be happy and I choose you.