1. When you lose a lover, you lose half of your heart; when you lose your best friend, you lose half of your soul.
Basically, having a best friend is meeting your twin soul. Having one doesn’t include falling in love or finding common interests even, it’s all about the bond between you two. Friendship like other relationships are founded upon mutual trust, understanding and faith. But what makes it different is that it is the foundation of all deeper relationships. It is a step for people to be lovers or more. But most of the time it is a commitment to one to be there for them no matter what.
Friendship break ups hurt the most because friends aren’t easily replaced. And if they were really true friends, it will hurt so much that your world will collapse. Friends are the ones helping you get up when you hit rock bottom, it’s hard to know when they’re the reason why you’ve fallen apart. You lost half of your soul. You lost a large part of yourself. Lose half of your heart and you can more or less put it back together. Lose half of your soul and you’ll feel lost.
2. Getting used to being strangers won’t be easy.
You’ll be scrolling through your Twitter timeline and you come across her tweets telling the world how her day went and you’re just there wishing she was telling it to you. You realize it’s her birthday and you’re no longer thinking about how to greet her or which embarrassing pictures you’ll be posting. You’d be staring blankly into space, and hearing your laughs. You’ll be passing by the places where you used to hang out after school and imagine the day you had so much fun. And you realize every moment you shared was a memory worth remembering. You hold back your tears and you hold back so much more.
You’re feeling down on a Monday night because you just feel so useless, you’re one click closer to telling her how much you hate your life and realize you’re no longer best friends. It will hit you so hard it will make you want to jump out the window, because what hurts more than feeling useless is having no one to tell you that you’re not. On a rainy night, you’ll stumble upon a box of papers and realize it was filled with memories of your friendship. You’ll read through each letter hearing her voice, wishing you were talking to her. And all you could do is wish, wish it hadn’t ended.
3. Finding a new best friend will be your greatest fear.
Whatever you do no one will compare to her. You feel guilty for finding in other people the things you lost when you lost her. You no longer want to reach out to people with the fear of not having anyone to reach back to you. You’re slowly building walls that separate you from everyone else because you want to be alone. You’ll get used to being alone, because that is how it will feel. Feeling like everyone give up on you will hurt but having the only who never gave up on you, walk away from your life will make your world shatter into pieces no one can ever put back together.
You’ll be so careful in building bridges with other people in the fear that they might burn yours. You’ll never feel the same happiness because you’ll always feel that you aren’t enough. You’ll always think you’re not worthy to be anyone’s best friend. You wouldn’t want anyone enter your world just because someone else broke it. You can no longer believe in other people when they tell you they wouldn’t leave you. You’ll no longer be assured that everything will be okay. It’s alright to feel that way. But don’t let the fear get to you. This too shall pass.
4. Moving on will be your greatest nightmare.
The first few days will hurt the most, well everyday will. It’s like having an unsealable open wound for everyone to see. How much effort you put into healing yourself, every night you’ll end up having more wounds than you had before. Wound that stitches won’t be able to heal or will any medicine can lessen its pain. You’ll have to deal with it every day, every minute every second and every moment someone will utter her name.
It will hurt so much until it wouldn’t. You’ll feel so much until you’ll feel nothing at all. Once you do, go back to the place where you first met, shout her name and tell yourself you’ve done well. You’ll soon be over with the nights you wondered where it all went wrong. You’ll soon be over with the thoughts of why you were never enough. It will soon be over and you’ll get better.