1. That’s it?
2. What the hell was that?
3. What’s wrong with you?
4. Was that your first time?
5. Tell me about your mother.
6. Hey, everyone makes mistakes.
7. That was two minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
8. Well, you gave it a shot.
9. That was cute.
10. Did you ever think you might be gay?
11. I feel sick.
12. Don’t quit your day job.
13. Does your health insurance cover sex therapy?
14. Are you going to apologize for that?
15. When was the last time you showered?
16. Ever thought of penile enhancement surgery?
17. That was interesting.
18. My husband will be here in five minutes. You have to get dressed and leave.
19. That was so bad, I feel like calling the cops.
20. I guess I should grab my vibrator and finish what you couldn’t.
21. I know a few guys in town who could teach you a few things about how to please a woman.
22. If that was a game of Fuck-Marry-Kill, I’ve already fucked you—plus, I’m already married.
23. You have herpes too, right?
24. Whose side did you take in that whole Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman thing?
25. Has a doctor ever said anything to you about all that body hair?