From avoiding getting hit by a bus to having home deliveries, these are some of the things that are always on my mind that I wish were true. As a huge food and TV lover with the dreams of becoming a famous-for-being-rich person like the Kardashians but uses her wealth to save the world, this is very important to me. If any one does know any solutions or answers to these please feel free to contact me so we can make this list come true.
1. A TV series starring Chandler M. Bing (Friends), Dwight K. Schrute (The Office), Schmidt (New Girl) and Mindy Kaling.
Yes, I want exactly those three characters and that one actor as herself to be in a TV show together. Why? Because they are by far the funniest people I have ever seen on television. They all bring different kind of comedies and you might think that with so much variety it would never work but no it will. These people are brilliant and if this ever happens the rest of Hollywood can say goodbye to their careers.
Just to make it clear: Mindy Kaling is the only person who will be playing herself in this TV show, the rest are playing their characters from previous TV shows. I am not saying those three are horrible people in real life or not funny, I just think it’s time to bring Chandler and Dwight back and never let go of Schmidt. And Mindy Kaling is awesome on screen and off screen.
2. Starbucks offering delivery.
No, I am not a 15 year old white girl with a white iPhone and Uggs. I am an 18 year old brown girl with a white/gold iPhone and Uggs but STILL Starbucks needs to start doing delivery. I am already paying way too much for espresso and you know I will still be willing to pay too much if you deliver. I live in Canada where Starbucks is not around every corner — well, at least not in the city I live in. A girl sometimes really needs her Grande Green Tea Lemonade or Chai Tea Latte and does not have a car to get it and the transit sucks. Delivery would be greatly appreciated.
3. McDonalds offering delivery.
Do I really need to explain this? (Someone told me Norway has this? Is this true?)
4. Every university in the world should have a napping building.
Yes, I could easily sleep in the cafeteria, library or crash at a friend’s dorm but really, who has the time for that? What if someone steals my stuff while I’m sleeping? Takes a hideous picture of me with my mouth wide open and drooling everywhere? What if my friend’s dorm is gross? Sleep becomes a crucial part of our lives when we’re going into post-secondary or grad school to function yet we can barely get any because of all the work and lack of space to sleep. I say every university should have a building where students come in to take a nap. The max they can sleep is 2 hours and then back to work! (If this already exists, please contact me so I can figure out how to transfer.)
5. As a pre-requisite for their fame, any and all celebrities are mandated to give back to their community.
I feel like I only see Angelina Jolie and Matt Damon making some contributions. If I ever get rich and famous, you have my word that I will be showering money into all kinds of research and aid to stop poverty and make more children literate. Imagine if every single celebrity in the world even contributed like 1% of their wealth, what a difference it would make.
6. Books should be the same price online and in store.
I am not allowed to shop online because my sister works for the fraud department at a bank and she believes that all online purchases are going to lead to fraud. I know even with clothes, online it’s a different price than in store but there are some clothes you can only find online so I guess it’s okay? Right? Also shopping for books in-store is a completely different and better experience than online. If I were to buy books online, I would just use an e-reader. Anyway, books seem to always be $30 in store but $12 online. WHY?!
7. Public Transportation providing WiFi (or at least working outlets.)
I don’t know if there are any public transports with WiFi but that would be awesome. I commute to university so when I don’t have a book to read and my data usage is almost done, I have nothing to do. If not WiFi, at least outlets that work where I can charge my phone/laptop. After a long day of working or attending lectures my technologies are drained and need to be recharged but there is never an outlet on the buses. What annoys me even more is when I do find an outlet but it doesn’t work. I am still waiting for the day when I am on the GO Bus and I find an outlet that actually charges my phone.
8. Some kind of educational and fun way to teach younger kids and teenagers how to do basic day to day activities.
From how to remove nail polish or any stain from a carpet to how to open a savings account. In my entire learning career I have never been taught these basic things in life that I will need to know to function daily. What the hell is balancing your check book? What interest? Whose interest? You can’t microwave this with the aluminum foil on? What? The only way I am able to cross the road without getting hit by a bus or adopting some child in a country doesn’t exist and paying $10 for that “child” is because:
a) my parents (kind of)
b) the TV shows Friends and The Office
c) Learned from other people screwing up
d) I screwed up and paid the price.
I don’t really know how to teach the younger generation all these things, but I hope someone soon finds a way.
9. Netflix is the same all over the world.
Unfortunately Netflix varies from country to country but the U.S. version has the best collection. It’s time to change that! Whatever the U.S. gets, so should Canada, UK, Australia, Germany, etc. It’s just not fair! Why does U.S. get all the good stuff? Everybody knows the U.S. version of The Office is better than the U.K.! We are all paying the same price for this subscription! Can you please change it so everyone in the world is happy? No one wants to go to project free TV when they have Netflix! I truly believe the world would be in a better place if everyone got access to the same Movies and TV Shows on Netflix. Please.
10. Facebook having the option to turn on/off the “read” receipt.
As much as the “read” option motivates us to reply back to the person that instant, we really hate it. Even though I do it all the time (sorry), when someone reads my message and doesn’t reply, it really hurts my feelings for two seconds. In that two seconds, I think of un-friending that person, I curse at them for being a horrible human being, die a little on the inside and then move on with life. After a couple of times I have gotten used to it but why are you creating more problems for us? Please give us the option of turning it off? I would much rather have that than the dislike button. Please.
11. There should be a socially-mandated consequence for customers or employees that are disrespectful to one another.
Yes, eventually they will burn in hell for being a horrible person. Yes, sometimes employees can be just as rude. Either way, there should be a consequence for that. If an employee is genuinely being rude, you deserve to complain to the manager. If the store is busy and you can see the employees are trying their best to help them out but you just don’t have the patience for it and decide to give them a harder time with your actions and words, something needs to be done with you. The world has blessed us with online shopping, stick to that.
Even before I started working in retail, I totally understood the employees. It’s not easy helping 100 customers at once with only 6 people working. And the amount of disgust I have for those customers who can clearly see it’s a busy day and it’s not the employees’ fault but still choose to make it even more difficult for them, is indescribable.
What’s even more annoying is when the cash machine stops working. Let me make this clear from experience in retail: we can be responsible for not having the right size, damaged products, security tags still attached to the clothes after purchase and being out of small bags but WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE OF HOW THE CASH MACHINE DECIDES TO ACT. The amount of times I had to deal with the machine not having network or for some reason didn’t accept the credit card is ridiculous and I did feel bad for the customer but here’s the thing, in this situation we are on the same team. I want the machine to work, I want you to be able to pay quickly and be happy with your purchase. Huffing and puffing and giving me dirty looks is not going to magically have it working again.