This Is How You Fall Back In Love With Yourself

I know it has been a busy couple of months with everything happening all at once, but you can slow down now. You can take a break, spend a day wrapped up in fuzzy blankets, and build pillow forts that you’ve always loved making. You can go outside, lie under the cloudy sky, and try to connect the stars in the hope of making a constellation. Even if you don’t know any constellation shapes by heart, you can just figure out random shapes. Go ahead, pray for a star to come crashing down so you can wish upon it.

Go back to writing your deepest desires in the back of your notebooks in the middle of class and believe that they’ll come true.

Life has had its moments, but you’ve fared well.

Feel the soulful conversations you’ve had with people recently and smell the letters you’ve received in this technologically advanced world. Write back to those people with your favorite pen and stamp them with the vintage collection your best friend gifted you. You’ve been stuck inside for so long, trek down the hill to see the sunset this weekend and leave your phone behind.

Your soul needs some sunshine and your skin could do with some tan, and you my love, could do with some genuine loving. This entire keeping up with people thing isn’t your cup of hot chocolate and it’s okay, let them move ahead.

Go away from all this for a while, it’s okay; you’re still brave and strong. You just need a little catch-up time and that’s perfectly acceptable.

Homework, and parties, and loud music, and busy streets can wait, this can’t.

Burn those numerous diaries you’ve already half filled with everything overflowing out of you; you don’t have to keep them anymore. Make s’mores in that bonfire and eat them while they’re still hot.

Find a dandelion and blow everything you don’t want around you anymore and pretend that it’s all those things. Watch them fly away into the sky, getting away from you, somewhere far, far away. To a place where they can never come back from. Believe that it’s all gone because if you believe in something hard enough, it happens.

Take a shower after that and dance to ‘Shut up and dance’ for as long as you need. Take a bubble bath if that works better or both. Keep sniffing your hand for the rest of the day and smile every time you catch a hint of coconut and cream.

Watch that horror movie alone, I dare you. Watch it without hiding your face in the popcorn at all the gruesome scenes and then buy yourself lilies for all your courage. Place them on the desk in your bedroom and fall asleep watching them. Wake up in the morning and convince yourself they’re even prettier and then feel sad for leaving them alone to go to class. Put them on your Snapchat story and wink at anybody who asks where they came from. Press them somewhere in the pages of your favorite books as a memory to honor forever.

Drink that bubble tea downtown and find a cupcake place somewhere. Find a small cafe that has pretty purple frosting ones and order yourself two flavors you’ve never tried. Eat them shamelessly and take your own time deciding which other ones you want to take home.

You have all the time you need, nobody is waiting and you’re always late anyway.

While giving all your loving to all those crazy roommates and fickle boys and puppies on the streets, you’ve been forgetting how to love the most important person in your life. Yourself. Although you can still run after golden retrievers and cuddle them like your life depends on it, but don’t forget yourself in the process.

You need all that gentle adoring and everyday caring too.

Make those kebabs and pop the cork and enjoy the candlelit dinner date you haven’t had with yours truly in such a long time. Go for a dip under the moonlight in the hot tub after that and take in all that you’ve been.

Ravel in these moments of unconditional loving and lie there for a while. You’ve been keeping yourself so busy these past few months and it’s time you show yourself some kindness.

Do all those things you love doing with yourself and haven’t had the time to do lately. It’s all right to be by yourself for as long as you want to be and all those cancelled plans can be made up later.

People will have to understand, don’t worry so much about everyone else’s feelings all the time.

Go and spend your time with the one person who has missed you the most without any trace of guilt. Schedule movie nights with yourself; bake those desserts that you’ve been dying to try. Watch Dear John again and cry in the end, you always do. Read the book soon after and recall why you decided to become a writer once again. Then go work on your poems and flip through them again, see how far you’ve come?

You’re getting there, you can be proud of you.

You’re allowed to be compassionate to yourself. You’re allowed to feel complete and loved by yourself. You can be whole and understood by yourself. You have the permission to exercise your right to be happy. You can forgive yourself for not forgiving a few people. You’re human.

You can forgive yourself for all those things that aren’t your fault. You can forgive yourself for all your faults. You can fall in love and have something that will never desert you or not have faith in you. You can love and let someone love you for who you are with all your flaws.

You can let you love you.
Been a while, but welcome home baby.