This Is Why I’m Happy I Had An Eating Disorder

A woman in a tank top raises her arms outdoors in the sun
Denys Argyriou / Unsplash

I’m happy I had an eating disorder.

Five years ago, I never would have never said that.

Actually, I probably wouldn’t have even said the words eating disorder because I was in denial that I had any issues around food or my body.

My five year ago self would have thought…

“How can I be happy that I can never sit still without thinking of what’s next on my to do list?

How can I be happy that my mind is obsessed with everything I put into my body?

How can I be happy that I have anxiety when I don’t workout in the morning?”

While the downward spiral into body and food obsession was a dark fall, the windy path to rediscover me was far greater.

It wasn’t fun. It was actually scary, but I’m happy it happened.

I gained far more than new relationships with food and my body.

I’m happy I was obsessed with my body because I learned how making your body your idol never leads to satisfaction.

I’m happy I was obsessed with food because I learned how it will never actually fill me up – spiritually and emotionally.

I am happy my relationships deteriorated because I learned to see the value in those that I lost.

I am happy that I injured my knee because it forced me to learn that over-exercising is not healthy.

I am happy I gained weight because I now know that my weight does not determine my worth.

I am happy that I let go of my rigid routines because I realized that there are so many amazing ways to enjoy life that don’t include food or exercise.

I’m happy that I have gut issues because I learned that it doesn’t matter what people think of what you eat. You have to do what’s best for your body.

I’m happy that I have been struggling with chronic illness because I’ve learned incredible self-care.

I am happy that I quit the gym because I was able to discover the power of mindfulness through yoga.

I am happy I had an eating disorder because I can inspire and help others with similar struggles.

I am happy that I had an eating disorder because I’ve learned that true health doesn’t have a size or include specific foods.

It is different for everyone and will always change.

For me, practicing good mental health techniques is more important than physical health practices because it leads to positive health decisions.

For me, eating specific foods that don’t irritate my gut is healthy because they make me feel best and help to heal my body from other health issues.

But ten years from now, my body will change along with my mind. And the things I do to take care of myself mentally and physically will look completely different, and I’m okay with that.

I vow always to do my best at giving my body what it likes and what makes it feel good.

This is something I would have never learned or said if I didn’t have an eating disorder.

What struggle can you turn into a strength? TC mark

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