You’re Not Actually Unhappy, You’ve Just Convinced Yourself That You Are

Have you ever wondered why you have random emotional breakdowns, when your life is going really great? You have a great relationship, cuddly pets, you’re closing on an amazing house next month, and you just bought the car of your dreams last month, but you’re crying on your kitchen floor because everything sucks. Okay calm down, wipe your tears away, and put the ice cream back in the freezer, because I have some news for you:

You’re not really unhappy, you’ve just convinced yourself that you are.

You’re not stuck in a rut and your life doesn’t suck, and you don’t even need that expensive therapist you were looking into (or maybe you do, that’s your call, not mine). One second you’re on your couch scrolling through Instagram and you see a cute outfit or someone is lying on a beautiful beach and then you think, what am I doing wrong that I’m sitting on my couch on Instagram? Nothing! Trust me.

Here’s why we all have those mental break downs in the middle of our office or our kitchens or in bed next to our loved one late at night: we spend too much time comparing our lives to other people’s lives. Plain and simple. We scroll though social media or we turn on the television and we see all these wonderful things and we wonder why our lives don’t look like that. Someone got engaged and we don’t even have a serious relationship. Someone got pregnant and we’ve been trying forever. Someone is taking an exciting vacation to an exciting place and we’re stuck at home all weekend. Someone got a new job and we’ve been working the same, dead end 9-5 for too long.

Everyone seems to be doing better than us and we start to over think.

News Flash! That will happen to you for the rest of your life if you don’t stop comparing!

Now, there is a bunch of advice that I could offer you on this particular subject, but I’ll summarize it up with two words: stop it. Yeah, that’s right, stop it! Now!

Stop comparing your life to other people’s lives.

Stop working where you work if you hate it. Stop that terrible diet if it makes you sick to your stomach. Stop dating that loser guy or that bitchy girl. Stop expecting a relationship like Noah and Allie’s, and stop thinking you don’t deserve a special relationship.

Stop thinking you don’t deserve more than you have and stop thinking that you’re not good enough for the things you really want out of this life. Stop it all, right now.

Happiness isn’t hard to come by, but sometimes it can be hard to hold on to.

That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it though. Stop doing things that make you doubt yourself. Stop being afraid to live the amazing life that’s possible with a little hard work, and a lot of faith in yourself. Just breathe, and start stopping.