Nothing can illuminate our own shadows quite like heartbreak. As young-adults we are still trying to figure heaps and heaps of our shit out, yet all too often it seems we are seeking “home” or solace in significant others. Once we allocate the sense of home in another individual we become dependent, attached. This is going against the fundamental freedom that true love provides.
We want to cling to the things we love when they start to fade. Why? We pour too much of ourselves into other people. We give them every tender, beating ounce of our heart, but how often do we check in to see what we are giving ourselves? I’ll answer that for you, not enough. One of my dearest teachers exemplified this by showing it in her body.
She took a deep heart-opening yoga pose. From tabletop position she came onto her forearms, elbows stacked under her shoulders, arms parallel with one another, gaze in between her hands, and knees still stacked under her hips. She dramatically melted her heart towards the ground and it looked beautiful, vulnerable, and open. However, she was missing something. She then pointed out that she was not pulling any strength into her core, the center of her being. So, she tightened her abdominal muscles and suddenly there she was beautiful, vulnerable, open, and strong.
I am a passionate advocate for loving whole-heartedly, honestly. I am not keen for the massive amount of mind games that our generation seems to enjoy playing. I don’t see thrill in the game of cat and mouse. I believe we need to be direct, honest, and true to the callings of our hearts. Otherwise, we are wasting our time in the human experience and doing a disservice to ourselves. However, I am learning that we still need to maintain our own strength, foundation, boundaries, and values.
Consider a tree, it roots down deep into the earth to establish a secure and strong foundation. It pulls inward when the seasons aren’t supportive and it starts to branch out and bloom when the seasons permit. It repeats this cycle every year. Shedding the old, checking back in, and blooming out with the new each spring. There is great wisdom to be gained from this process. We must find out what makes us feel grounded and strong in life and then we must take responsibility and constantly come back to these things. We must pull inward from time to time to check in, feel out our own home. Evaluate what is working and what isn’t. Shed old layers to make space for new manifestations.
When we feel strong in our physical, spiritual, and mental realms we are more able to navigate with clarity and balance. Take responsibility for your path because when you nourish yourself you can better nourish others. Find home in yourself first.