When You Imagine A Future Even Though He’s Only Your Crush

It’s Saturday night. You just got paid, and all your bills are taken care of. Especially your credit card payment that you’ve been putting off because you don’t wanna think about that time you bought those beautiful shoes, for no apparent reason. Well tonight is the night to wear them. Finally, an investment that pays off. You haven’t drank in like 3 weeks right? So at this point you’re ready to get trashed and let your drunk conscious take the lead. But you remind yourself that texting your flame that died out numerous times is NOT an option.

You don’t spend too much time getting ready, and your legs are unshaved because, who cares. You’re single and nobody is going THERE tonight. You still look hot of course. You’re just ready to shake off your shitty week at work and the annoying teenage coworkers that won’t stop talking about the unsurpassable passion that their 8 month relationships hold with their greasy 20 year old boyfriends, and the never ending drama of living together. Rolling my eyes. ANYWAY, bring on the margaritas.

You’re not driving tonight, and you have a place to crash so all is well. You meet up with your most laid back friends, and start the night. Getting to one of your FAVORITE spots downtown, you get your FAVORITE drink as one of your FAVORITE songs come on at the overly crowded bar. Your group of friends invites their friend, which ends up being your cute instagram crush that you’ve been nonchalantly eyeing for a couple months now. Not trying to bring up that you’ve been single for over a year or anything. (Which is a GOOD thing, you go Glen Coco!!) He actually turns out to be surprisingly easy going, down to earth, and you can actually have enticing conversations with him. (Unlike your judgments from his mysteriously posted insta pics).

Oh no…. are you on a date?? NO. You’re just having fun, don’t get all mushy now. Beside the fact he’s gorgeous and is a total gentleman. And He’s SARCASTIC and FUNNY??? Omg. Don’t freak out. Just because he agrees on your views of the current generation and how much society sucks, doesn’t mean he’s gonna be your baby dad. Did he just tip the bartender after buying your drink?? Oh lord.

Everyone is on the dance floor, and he makes his way over. He gets closer, until he’s completely behind you. You’re moving to the rhythm of the song, and his hands brush over your hips. Dear god. Control yourself. Don’t mess this up. 4 vodka and cranberry juices later, you’re in the uber, on his shoulder. You arrive to the destination, get changed at your friend’s house and are comfortably hanging out with the group. At this point your phones dead and you don’t care. You’re having too much fun. You fall sound asleep, with nothing regretful happening, (aka a one night stand or drunken make-outs) and wake up to him getting ready to leave in the morning.

You keep your cool and fall back asleep. You didn’t get a number, a note, or anything compelling him to chase you. But it’s ok, even though you’re hanging on a thread about how he felt about you and if he ever wanted to see you again, you still had fun and you don’t care. It was just a night of fun.

But in the back of your mind on the drive home and being hung over for the day, you can’t help but to think if last night could be a recurring thing. After such a perfect night, how could anything live up to it? Like, what if you had a connection like that, with someone that made you feel like that? It makes you think about what you’ve been missing out on, and why you don’t have a, dare I say it: a relationship, with someone like that?

Someone who makes you feel connected, related, understood, and gorgeous for your thoughts alone. These are the hung over, half asleep, nauseous, never drinking-again thoughts after a magical night. But after alka seltzer, a huge all-meat pizza, and a shower to cry your heart out you’ll be fine. Everything happens for a reason. I know it’s corny. But someone, someday, will make you feel so wonderful and full of joy that it will make you realize why it was never meant to work out with dude from last weekend. Or the weekend before. Be glad you fell asleep and didn’t get his number. Some great things are headed your way. TC mark

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