Sometimes, it is hard to pretend that I am okay when everything inside me tells the other way around.
He is the only person who holds my happiness, the person who completes me, the one I want to build my life with, and the only man who has the power capture my heart. But, sometimes, fate is really cruel. I do know that in the game of love, I cannot stay a winner forever. There will always be instances that I have to lose. And right now, I have lost my battle. By this time, tears are the only company to my loss.
For some reasons, I have to sacrifice him, even though I feel like the whole world crashes over me. I have to let him go even though I know that I can’t live without him, even if he is the only reason I keep on holding on against life’s obstacles.
My whole being has been covered with sadness and longing.
Pretension is the name of the game. But then at the end of the day, I know that I might fool everybody but never myself. I have dwelt into our memories for such time; I am still hoping but my sanity interferes, battling with my craziness. I know that he will never come back. I know I have to continue this battle with life alone.
It’s hard. I laugh and I smile. Yes, I still do my everyday activities, but now, my life will be different without him, and it will never be the same again. The pain is unbearable; however, I need to accept the fact that there are just things in life which are not permanent and can’t stay with me forever. He just came into my life to play his role, for that was his purpose, and after that, he had to go and leave me. I have to accept that sad truth. I have to obey GOD’s will.
Love is a very painful thing for me, but I don’t regret falling for its trap. Why? I have been happy with him. I have learned a lot from him.
I learned to love, to care, to value someone more than just myself. I became selfless. His dreams and I are now burned into ashes, disappeared in just a flick of a finger. However, I know that I will find the broken pieces of my life. Not now, but I know someday. Time can only tell. Destiny only knows.
Our story may have ended. Our love song may have faded. Our story may not have ended happily-ever-after, but despite everything, he will always have a special place in my heart. I will never forget him. For me, love never ends, love lasts forever, and love is limitless, but indeed, it will leave you an invisible scar that stays forever. So, I have to give him a bittersweet goodbye. I must now face the part of letting go and moving on because I should, and I will, and hopefully I can.