You Keep Choosing The Wrong Guys Because You’re Looking For A Project, Not A Man

As you grow older you learn more about yourself. Everything from what you like, what you don’t like, what ticks you off, weird quirks, good and bad habits. Well, something I feel like most women have a common bad habit: falling for the bad boy or the man with (excuse my French) asshole tendencies. Don’t be fooled, my foolish heart fell prey to the bad boy syndrome but unfortunately, some women never escape it.

Bad boys are like wild cards, they don’t value you, rarely shows up emotionally, the guy you’re unsure of, and can’t let him know your true feelings because it may drive him away or give him the upper hand. Like a drug you find yourself sitting there waiting on a text and unable to resist him and others like him, again and again. I do want to point out that bad boys have evolved in the adult world. So maybe he doesn’t do ALL those things I’ve listed but if you find yourself confused as hell as to what’s going on in your love life well isn’t it all the same? If someone is wasting your time, not 100% committed and taking you on an emotional roller coaster isn’t that a bad thing? We find the “bad-boy” types sexy and exciting. That is until their impulsiveness, selfish ways and disregard for anyone gets us hurt or in trouble.

Stop treating men like your pet project or holding onto that fantasy that you are the one to change a bad boy. Here’s a secret, men know what their intentions are for a woman within the first interaction/date, for the most part at least. They have a pretty good idea if you are the one they want to change their asshole ways for within the first few dates. Don’t get your panties in a bunch and go off on me because I know everyone’s situation is different but I’m not talking about exceptions here. Why not find guys that are bad in good ways? For example, find someone who is adventurous, spontaneous or likes extreme sports. They don’t need to break your heart to keep you interested.

Something I’ve heard women say is “Well, apparently I just love assholes, I can’t do nice guys.” Maybe it’s not that you don’t like nice guys but you’re used to someone who doesn’t treat you right. You’re so used to someone not treating you like the queen you are that in your head you’ve started to blame yourself for someone else’s actions. Stop telling yourself that. You don’t like assholes. What you need to stop doing is letting guys treat you like a peasant which results in wondering why you’re sitting alone on a Saturday night staring out your window questioning how you got your heart tied up. Stop making excuses or settling! If you want a guy to hold the door for you, pull your chair out before you sit, open your car door, then go get that because guys like that exist. There are better ways to find excitement (hobbies, sports, creative pursuits, travel) than having to deal with someone hurting you ten times over.

There’s a difference between good and boring. Good guys can be fun and thrilling as much as a bad boy but the difference is that a good guy will actually be there physically, mentally and emotionally. You don’t want a bad boy. What you want is a man who will break someone’s face for you but also make you breakfast in bed. Why choose the darkness when there is so much light around you?

So find someone who is home and an adventure all at once and stop selling yourself short.