Ready To Fall In Love? Stop Sucking At Dating.

New Girl: Season 1
New Girl: Season 1

Who’s ready to fall in love? I’ve been in love once, and it was the most overwhelming experience of my life. It was also the most terrifying, traumatic and worst experiences of my life. I’ve been single going on a year now after a long-term relationship where I fell in love and one short-lived one. This last year has taught me a couple of things. First, dating in 2014 is WEIRD AND IT SUCKS. But, also people suck at it. Guys and girls both. We’re all guilty.

Twenty years ago, kids were getting married at 18, 19 and 20. They still are, but Generation Y is much more inclined to stay single, focus on our careers and live the single life. We are also more concerned with personal accomplishments and less worried about intimate connections beyond one night after the bar. And when we do meet someone we’re interested in seeing after that one night, it’s like we forget how to be human and attempt to make a connection even though we live in the age of connectivity. We live in a culture of group dates, “hey come to this bar I’m at” and awkwardly adding someone on Facebook we’re interested in instead of just calling to say “Hey, how’s your day going?”

The truth is, we all suck at dating.

I personally am terrible. I don’t call. I don’t text. I literally show no interest even when I can’t stop thinking about that person. Why? Well, I’m afraid of getting hurt after a bad experience. But, also because it seems that’s what I’m supposed to do because that’s what everyone does. Why can’t we be intentional about our interest?

Guys – take a girl on a date. Pick her up from her house, open the car door, tell her she looks pretty and kiss her at the end of the night without inviting yourself in.

Ladies – make him buy you dinner, make him tell you you’re pretty. Tell him he can’t stay over until you’ve been in public (x) times together. You fill in that x.

If you’re ready to actually fall in love – then stop sucking, grow up, be an adult and live intentionally. Be patient with the process, be open and most importantly, be willing. Open your heart, take a chance, text first, use the emoticon, drink coffee instead of tequila together, ask him or her questions, and show them you care. If you’re ready to fall in love, then stop sucking at dating. Do it. I dare you. TC mark

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