7 Depressing Reasons You Grow To Hate Your Favorite Bloggers

Everyone in life is a let down, even the people who aren’t even in your life. Here are seven bummer things you’ll probably encounter if you develop a long-term fan relationship with a personal blogger…

1. THEY TOTALLY MISS THE MARK.

Any time someone talks (or writes) enough, you’re going to eventually realize that they aren’t as enlightened as you’d hoped. One day you go to check in with your familiar-feeling personal blogger and read a casual statement about how they dislike dogs or are pro-life because their friend got an abortion in college. Holy shit—this person that you’ve been following for ages is about THAT life? You’ll never read their writing the same way again, this information has tainted your entire experience.

2. THEY ENTER YOUR REAL LIFE.

You know what’s the worst? When you’re completely obsessed with someone’s writing until you meet them in real life and realize the whole thing’s an act. I call this “Diet Catfishing.” They’re not totally lying—they DO watch Mad Men, drink Whiskey, listen to Tom Waits and insert old-timey slang into their day to day speech, they’re just… fucking wimpy in person. Or she DOES have huge tits and a dry wit but IRL she’s far from the mouthy sexpot she makes herself out to be. And that just makes you crinkle your nose and be like, “ew, why?”

3. THEY LIE TO YOU.

Not all bloggers are guilty of this, but a lot of the “bigs” have been discovered to be hiding some HUGE secret about their life. They lie about their income, their social life, their employment, their standing in their relationship, their relationship with sponsors, their health. Whatever it is, it feels like a major violation to loyal readers who have clicked on every update they’ve posted.

4. THEY GET DIVORCED.

About five years ago, there was a rash of my favorite “star bloggers” announcing the dissolution of their seemingly perfect marriages. Couples that I’d seen date, get married, have kiddos. Bloggers that went from single gals on-the-go to mommy bloggers to now… distant, jaded, bitter people. A cloud of sadness started to hang over all of their posts. And BTW, that’s to be expected from any normal person you’d know in life, but bloggers have a way of polishing their image to their liking and coming off as these aspirational humans that live obnoxiously pretty, funny, Pinterest-y lives. What’s to aspire to when you realize your “favorite couple” hates each other’s guts and the posts about raising their kids turn into melancholy rambles about what shared custody is like?

5. THERE IS A MAJOR SHIFT IN TONE.

Following a person’s ups and downs is why readers of personal blogs are fans, but sometimes a blogger’s entire vibe can change. Two years ago they were plucky, unlucky in love, free-spirited and lived a generally fun-seeming life. Now they’re jaded, in a relationship that makes you question their judgment, and seem like someone you wouldn’t even want to make small talk with.

6. THEY GET A LOT LESS HATEABLE.

Hate-readers are the bread and butter of most personal bloggers. They claim to hate the haters, but it’s the haters that are the most loyal to their shitshow, providing ad dollars with their clicks and better numbers for sponsorship opportunities. As time rolls by, a person usually becomes slightly more self-aware and with that comes much less annoying opinions and behavior. It’s hard to look down on every moment of their documented life. They’re just another person that makes you say, “eh, whatever.”

7. THEY REVEAL THEMSELVES TO BE A TOTAL HUMAN HURRICANE.

Over time you start to put the pieces together. This blogger you love ALWAYS has some sort of fantastic drama going on in their lives. They’ve fucked their way through their friend and work circle. They blab other people’s secrets and private information in their writing as a form of revenge. They write things so scathing at times that you wonder if it’s possible for someone to even think those thoughts unless they’re human garbage. They do this under the guise of “going there”, but once you’ve read them long enough, you realize they’re more like a dog spraying their piss everywhere. TC mark

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