Pretty Little Liars has been yanking me around town by my balls for years now and even though that Christmas Special that aired last week was a complete slap in the face and an insult to the people who make it a point to try and follow this story week after week, year after year, I can’t turn away.
There are so many reasons why I really watch this show (I kinda wouldn’t know where to begin finding another one) here are 8 reasons to keep watching that should be good enough for just about anybody:
1. The clothes
The outfits on this show are everything. The layering on Lucy Hale is full-blown mentally ill and Spencer’s riding pants and tailored blouses give me life. And Hanna’s just like this, weird broke Carrie Bradshaw-wanna be in junior’s department styles. It’s a candy store for your eyes.
Call me a complete pervert, but the ongoing Aria/Ezra saga has had me since day one. For those of you who aren’t complete degenerates, Ezra first appeared on the show as a hunky college student in a bar that Aria made out with in the pilot who just so happened to also be her new English teacher! While Ezra is absolutely a certified pedo (she was like, fifteen when they first met!), I’ve been watching these two fight to be together for five seasons now. I just can’t quit.
3. The camp
I think the lesbian slow dance at the ho-down will go down in television history as one of the most ridiculous things ever produced. The fact that it was two girls dancing while batting their lashes at each other was the least interesting thing about it. It was like, choreographed and sad and weird and oddly porn-ish for ABC Family.
4. They get real
As absurd as it can come off at times, Pretty Little Liars goes there. Emily, the group’s token lesbian, has had more relationships than any other character on the show. Recently she made out with Ali, the friend that everyone thought was dead that was totally not dead and is back in Rosewood making everybody else’s lives hell. Before Toby got with Spencer, he was doin’ it with his soon-to-be-blind step-sister, Jenna. Spencer’s dad had a love child with Ali’s mom, Ali faked a pregnancy and oh yeah, Aria’s been fucking her teacher since she was a child.
5. Satisfying friendships
There’s just something nice about watching these four girls work together to figure out who the psycho is that’s been threatening their every move for the last five years. When they’re not running from a murderer, these girls remind you of a glossier version of your group of friends.
6. Troian Bellisario
My famous person bullshit detector is dying to go off for Troian Bellisario (her dad’s Don Bellisario, he’s responsible for JAG and NCIS AKA he’s super loaded). I always find it difficult to like showbiz kids because I’m an underdog girl. BUT! This chick is just so likable and her performance as Spencer is really fantastic. The writers clearly know that she’s the most capable dramatic actress of the group and write to that as often as possible. She’s had huge arcs with crazy emotional stories over the last couple of seasons and homegirl just slays.
7. The cringe-y jokes
The pun-heavy writing is worth tuning in for. The story structure is pretty impressive (it DOES feel like there’s a master plan in place, even when you know the writers are attempting to throw you way off track) but it’s the snappy but oh so lame quips and “laugh lines” that make the show the family channel drama equivalent of a Selena Gomez song.
8. Because you never know when they’re going to finally throw you a bone
One of these days, something big has to happen! We’ve learned so much over the years, who cares if we don’t know who A is or what the hell is going on with Ali and why we’re just hearing about this Bethany person now, after all of the time that’s been spent at Radley. That’s the fun of watching it in the first place, right? Right?