20 Gifts To Get Your Basic B*tch This Christmas

Are you a basic? I might be. Here are 20 things you can buy your basic bitch this holiday season:
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1. Nail wraps

Girls who love bullshit love nail wraps. Definitely look for stuff that features her favorite childhood television stars, mythical creatures and junk food.

2. Ironic celebrity perfume

There are so many to choose from—Taylor Swift, Kim Kardashian and Katy Perry all have new offerings. Your girl will love telling her friend’s she’s wearing Eau De Kim K., LOL!

3. Binged-out lollipop

A limited edition Pussy Cat Dolls or Jenner sister-designed couture lollipop is a must have for any basic who loves going over-the-top with her bbs!

4. Pizza hoodie

Your honey loves her some pizza! Pepperoni, please! Big pause for all the haters that don’t like to grub down with a lil bit of pizza pie! MMm-hhmmmMmmmm

5. iTunes gift card

No Pandora for this happin’ mami! She’ll buy herself all the $1.29 singles that she can.

6. Hello Kitty everything

Just because I’m 30 doesn’t mean I don’t want a Hello Kitty toaster! So what if you think we’ll get married in a couple of years and register for some really cool toaster, we can just register for something else—like a Hello Kitty ice cream maker or pup tent.

7. Jewelry that says shit like “cool”

I know, $499 is a ton of money to spend on a rose gold nameplate necklace that says “party” but it’s cute as fuck and honestly, I love partying so like, I’ll always wear it. Maybe not every day but c’mon.

8. New Uggs

Let’s face it: They’re fucking comfortable. And you know what? I think people are getting used to them. It’s like, a known thing that girls are colder than guys and that sometimes you have to wear ugly boots because it’s like, a nature thing. Okay?

9. A Gap Gift Card

Their tees are so good. Don’t hate.

10. Yankee Candles

The Cake Batter smells so realistic and Christmas Eve reminds everyone of Gram-Gram’s, right?

11. Converse sneakers

You know, I just like Converse. They’re just classic, you know? I have Nikes for running or whatever, but Converse is just like, day to day. I have like, three pairs.

12. iPhone 6 case

You know my step dad is getting me one, so totally grab me something that has like, an ironic cat or a pizza or something else on it. Maybe something covered in crystals or furry.

13. DVD set of Dawson’s Creek

OMG, remember the Creek, girl?

14. DVD set of Felicity

Felicity was kind of weird and possibly autistic now that you look back at it, right, girl?

15. Sephora gift card

Thanks girl, we’ll use this for some sparkly eyeliner we’d “never normally get.”

16. Subscription to Audible.com

This is perfect. I’ve been meaning to catch up on titles by my favorite authors Tori Spelling, Amy Poehler, Dan Savage and Brandi Glanville.

17. Bath salts

You know I’ve been really into meditation lately and just like, staying conscious in general and bath salts just really aid in that re: my time in the bath and I prefer that you stick to something more floral than musky, thank you.

18. Sprinkles fucking cupcakes!

OMG, hon! A half dozen banana, half dozen red velvs? Babe, you should have! Thank you!

19. Chic earrings

Thank you so much—growing out last year’s bob has been hell and these ear cuffs are providing a much-needed distraction during this painful in-between period.

20. Bath and Body Works Lotion

But on the DL? The Sweet Pea and Warm Vanilla Sugar smell good as hell. TC mark

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Molly McAleer lives in Los Angeles with her chihuahua and can be found on Twitter (@molls) and on Instagram (@itsmolls). Her writing has appeared on your television, your Internet and the bathroom walls of your favorite cyber cafes. Follow Molly on or read more articles from Molly on Thought Catalog.
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