When shopping this holiday season, don’t forget to pick something up for the stoner in your life. While they may forget to get you a present, they always smoke you out and for that, you should be forever grateful.
1. Natural Rolling Papers
These natural rolling papers have that bullshit Pinterest-y look to them that needs no further dressing up. Just pop them in the stocking of your favorite stoney bologna.
2. Cannabis clothes
Googling “weed dress” brings up tons of results and quite a few of them are more low-key than you’d think. The above dress almost looks like a floral camo, no?
3. Scented Candles
Stoners fucking love candles. They just do.
4. Gas mask bong
The best gifts are the kind of things that you’d want but never buy yourself. Those of you looking to spoil your favorite smoking partner this year may want to consider splurging on a bong gas mask.
5. Pizza Hut gift card
You’ll be any smoker’s favorite person if you hook them up with a gift card for pizza they can redeem pretty much anywhere. Pizza Hut may not be gormet, but when you’re so fucked up you’d eat a still-frozen burrito, there’s nothing better than some hot, crispy pepperoni on a disc of plastic-y melted cheese.
6. History of Motown Vinyl Set
Pretty much any stoner worth their salt will already have “Legend” and other reggae classics on vinyl, but few will have a complete History of Motown set. Grooving to oldies while putting around the house thinking about things you can put into an emergency lasagna is the perfect winter activity.
7. Rolla Board
If you’re shopping for a “joints only” type, the Rolla Board is your best bet in terms of a larger purchase. They start at $50 and provide the perfect platform to grind and roll. Or, you know, you could just buy them a table or one of those things you get at Walgreens to protect your ovaries/nuts from your laptop.
8. Hemp tote bag
Stoners have been stuffing their totes full of Kind Bars and Gatorade since the dinosaurs, but now that so many cities are banning the use of plastic bags, these recycled sacks with corny messages and dumb decorations are more useful than ever.
9. Bikram yoga pass
Sweating out all of those edibles is necessary from time to time and after awhile, the extreme heat begins to provide you with a rush of its own. Your stoned yogi may hate you at first but once they realize their “brownie in a mug” weight literally melting off, they’ll see this is a gift that keeps on giving.
10. Nature Box subscription
Pizza is one thing, but it’s hard to get your munchies on in 2014 without feeling a little guilty. Enter: Nature Box. It’s a subscription snacking service, which means that it’s basically like Birchbox, but instead of smelly lotion samples, you get delicious spicy nuts and granola clusters and snack mixes all made with health in mind. A three-month subscription is at the very top of my personal wish list.
11. Piggy pipe
Oink oink. You can file this and all other fun novelty pipes under “stuff that dreams are made of.”
12. Colorado Pot Brownie Kit
Add your own greens to this perfect pot brownie recipe and away you go. Bonus: The recipe/greeting cards that come with it are super cute!
13. Pax Ploom Vaporizer
The Cadillac of pocket-sized vapes is undoubtedly the Pax Ploom. This will set you back about $250 bucks but it’s got a dope warranty and it travels so well. It’s discreet as fuck and looks like some sort of make up compact or tampon holder. Your stoner will bring this with them everywhere.