Friends are amazing, I think we can all agree on that. Unless they murder you like these teens I saw on 20/20. That’s not amazing. But most friendships are! So we’re going to concentrate on that, specifically inspiring friends. The ones that lift you up when you are down, the ones that have helped shape you into a better person, the kind of person that your step-dad Ron wants you to be.
This is for you, Ron:
1) The Queen Bee
She’s the one in your group that can get you backstage in VIP in less than thirty minutes when you don’t even have tickets to the show. She’s the one that finds the cool new shirt that you all own in every color by the end of the month first. She’s the default leader of your group, the charismatic one. She’s also the one you think would most likely murder somebody in cold blood. She’s your muse.
2) The Worker Bee
This friend is the one that had the shitty job right out of college who, within two years, is now running their own company. This friend works their ass off and even though you don’t get to hang out as much as you want to, your time together is like recharging your inner battery—you feel ready to take on the world after being with this person.
3) The Cheerleader
For obvious reasons, everyone needs a Cheerleader friend. This is the BFF that encourages you to go after an off-beat dream that you just can’t shake. They believe in you, they aren’t competitive. They want to see you be your best self.
4) The Puppy
There’s something so goddamn refreshing about the friend that’s a brand new soul. Of course you love your cynics and your grumps, but once in awhile it’s nice to be around someone who doesn’t expect the absolute worst in people. They remind you of all of the good things in your life and kinda sort of keep you from killing yourself?
5) The Perfectionist
Yeah, they can get on your nerves, but it IS really nice to have a friend who just so happens to be an anal retentive nightmare. The Monica Geller, if you will. They’re the one you want to call for a picture hanging party or when you decide you want to give silk-screening a whirl.
6) The Survivor
Talk about an inspiration—this friend has been through it! Cancer, an abortion, a miscarriage, two car accidents and a death in the family—and that was just November! This person gets knocked down over and over again and gets right back up. Kind of makes your break up blues seem silly, huh?
7) The Mama Bear
In a sick way, the desire to be mothered never really goes away so we look up to our motherly friends because there’s something deeply wrong with all of us. And mother’s are generous and generosity is admirable.
8) The Knight in Shining Armor
This is your friend who always does the right thing. The one time he shoplifted, he returned the scarf he stole to the store manager and offered to pay the restocking fee. He’s the one who drinks moderately when everyone else is getting buck. Just in case! He reminds you that being an actually good person (as opposed to a kind of good person, which most of us are at best) is really fucking hard and good for him, he really makes an effort.
9) The Funny One
LOLs are as important as the air we breathe and without them, life is meaningless. Your friend who brings his LOLs in a sack labeled “LOLs” is the one who keeps the whole group going. You probably would have stopped speaking to each other years ago if it wasn’t for this guy.
10) The Artsy One
Your artsy friend is cultured and sophisticated and chic and reminds you all that your life problems are really silly in the big pictures. She’s well travelled and well-versed in world events and music from like, Ukraine. She’s nerdy but cool and usually super pretty in an unusual kind of way. Exotic, even. God, what an idol.