I have a new worst nightmare and her name is Tabitha Spinks. Her father Jon Spinks, who is basically Buddy Garriety if Buddy Garriety knew how to make YouTube videos, put the video clip above together. It features young Tabby sitting in front of the tree in a tutu and boots (an expensive Giudice daughters-looking ensemble), rambling off the items she wants Santa to bring her. It’s all very likable until Tabby is rewarded with her request for a puppy immediately, killing both the illusion of Santa Claus and my boner. No, Tab Tab! This is not how Christmas works! You’re supposed to be poor and cry every day because you know that you’ll never return to school after the holiday break with as many new toys as your classmates! You’re supposed to be denied of the things you desire most in life! How else are you supposed to grow up to be a professional blogger! What, but a hatred for children who have more than you, is supposed to drive you to write up videos from your building’s computer room in jeans that you’ve been wearing for four days! These heatbreaking events are what will shape you into the sorta-kinda woman that you deserve to be!