1. Be prepared to replace your tire(s): Nails are out there and somehow your tires are magnets for those suckers. They will get in there, there is no denying it.
2. Pinstripes are a good time. If you don’t have pinstripes from tightly squeezing in between trees, bushes, cacti, or anything else that may harm you and your paint then you aren’t doing it right.
3. Pansy friends exist. The amount of screams and possible crying that that “one” friend will let escape their lips will be an extreme irritant during the adventure. Don’t invite them next time.
4. You will find the line where your loyalties lie. Sure you may have agreed to go see a movie with a friend, but if you’re offered later on a chance to go off–roading, there’s no way you could say no. So find an excuse (and feel free to use my personal favorite: “I have homework”).
5. You will find that you have control issues as a passenger. The whole time you will be analyzing the driver’s decisions and silently be judging their choices. Should they really have taken that path? Should they have hit the pedal harder? As all the questions go through your mind you discover that most times you would have done it differently. At that point you have two options: Get out and walk, or be quiet and smile. Walking isn’t fun, so go with option two.
6. Everyone will want to go with you. You will all of a sudden be a hot commodity. But remember, not everyone deserves to go. Re-read point #3 before choosing which friends to take.
7. Off-Roading makes everyone more attractive. So you’re a guy who has a truck and likes adventures? Hot. You’re a girl who likes off-roading and adventures too? Hot (as far as I’m concerned).
8. Dirt is a new skin color. It doesn’t come off your body and it won’t come out of your truck. Be prepared to wear it and remember the good times that were had.
9. Do not try to go off-roading drunk. This should be a no-brainer, but unfortunately it’s not. Perhaps you’re already out with your friends at a bonfire in the middle of nowhere, and so you think why not? Well, one: You are drunk. Don’t drive. Two: You are drunk. Don’t drive. Three: You are drunk. Don’t drive. Need I say more?
10. Always, always, always say yes to off-roading. A good time out on a dirt road, whether with a friend or by yourself will help clear your head and make you happy. And who doesn’t want to be happy?