1. Your closet looks like a tornado hit it, and it is a perfect representation of your mind.
The hunt for your sneakers is more strenuous then the work out you fooled yourself into thinking you were actually going to attend. Your closet is in such a mess that searching through the piles of clothes will take more out of you than kick boxing ever will. When your roommate is helping you search, she questions which pile is clean or dirty, and you just tell her to leave.
2. You Google “How to get your life in order,” and you read through the wiki-how version of a self-help book.
You are actually too lazy, or too much of a mess to seek professional help, so you turn to you’re one true friend, the internet. You seek salvation in articles directed to people going through mid-life crisis, and you’re barely even in your mid-twenties.
3. You drink way too much, and then you continue drinking.
You get drunk enough off Ever Clear to never drink again — that is until Monday rolls around and it’s free drinks at your local pub. You, of course, find it totally acceptable to go out on a Monday night not matter what time you have to wake up the following morning. No one wants to be the friend who has to be babysat when drunk. So when you wake up hugging the toilet and realize you are indeed that friend, it can be quite unsettling.
4. You think its a good idea to rekindle an old flame.
Newsflash: It’s not. There is obviously a reason it didn’t work out. And maybe, just maybe, the fact that he never really care about you, and dated another girl for a year instead of you, is exactly the reason it didn’t work out. So requesting his presence while you’re hugging the toilet, isn’t the best idea after all. Especially because he probably won’t want to sleep with that much of a mess.
5. You are in your 20s; of course your life is a mess.
No one has their shit together. Anyone who thinks that they know what they are doing with their life is wrong. I applaud those of you who have some how managed to escape this and are currently living your dream. You might think you have it all figured out, and life just throws you a curve ball. You could find a new career path, you could fall in love, you could get your heart broken, you can never know what will happen, and that uncertainty can make us all feel like a bit of a mess sometimes. But I suggest you curl up with your favorite pint of Ben & Jerry’s, cry to some Miley Cyrus, and keep going. Because you’ll figure it out one day. Maybe.