Ah, ghosting. It happens to the best of us, amirite? You think things are going well with Joe from Hinge and then he falls off the face of the earth and never texts you back! Ugh. Damnit, Joe from Hinge! Why you gotta be that way?
But here’s something you may have never considered:
He may actually have fallen off the face of the earth because he actually might just be dead!!
Like, seriously, girlfriend! It might not be anything to do with you, it might just be his lack of pulse. Like, maybe he got hit by a bus or went to take a nap and forgot to wake up! Yeah, his silence might be because he isn’t into you at all, but we can’t rule out the whole dead option yet. It really could be nothing personal. So stop beating yourself up!
However, it’s always hard to tell. Here are a few signs he isn’t ghosting you, he’s just dead:
He hasn’t posted to his Snapchat Story in a few hours:
Wow, yeah, hate to say it but this is a sure sign that he has passed.
(Of course, based on the horrific new update, you might just not be able to find his Story and he could very well be breathing. You’ll need to investigate a little more.)
You’re at least a 6 and he’s a 5 at best.
No guy in his right mind would turn down a gal who is hotter than him unless he’s dead. Only explanation. Definitive proof.
When you texted and asked if he was dead, he never replied.
Totally normal question to ask and only the deceased would ignore it. I mean, how rude would it be to not let someone know you were still alive? (Answer: Really fucking rude.)
Spooky things keep happening.
Like things falling off your shelf or your purse isn’t where you remember putting it. He’s trying to send you a message from the great beyond and that is that he’s dead AF. Romantic, right? Cutie!!!
There’s a literal obituary.
Yeah, he’s a goner. Condolences. Better luck next time!