7 Smartass Answers To All The Stupid Questions People WILL Ask If You’re A Twin

X Smartass Answers To All The Stupid Questions People WILL Ask If You're A Twin
Eye for Ebony

If you’re a twin, you will inevitably get asked a lot of stupid questions once someone figures out you shared a womb with another human. Despite what they told you in elementary school, there is definitely such thing as a stupid question and if you’re a twin, you know that better than anyone because you’re asked stupid questions all the fucking time!!!!

But fret not, my fellow twinner. Here are seven smartass answers to the seven most common questions you will get asked if you’re a twin. Because if you’re going to have to deal with stupid people, you might as well have fun with it.

1. “Do you know what your twin is thinking right THIS SECOND?”

“Yes, I do! They are thinking how you should shut up and stop bothering me.”

2. “If I hit you, will it hurt them?”

“Well, if I were to hit you, would it make you smarter? The answer is no. No, it wouldn’t. And the answer to your question is also no.”

3. “Oh my god, so you know the Olsen twins??!?!”

This question doesn’t even deserve an answer. Just stare at them like this until they go away:

4. (For identical twins): “Do your parents always get you guys confused?”

“Yes, my parents regularly forget what my sibling and I look like.”

5. (For fraternal twins): “If you’re really twins, how come you don’t look alike?”

“Well, if you really passed 8th grade, how come you just asked me that?”

6. “Oh my God, so you and your twin are like best friends, right?”

“No, we hate each other.” *proceed to start sobbing uncontrollably*

(Note: The delivery will be important for this one. The point is to make them feel very awkward about asking.)

7. “Omg do you guys have the same birthday?”

“Wow, you’re like a detective! It’s almost like that’s what the definition of a twin is or something.”

TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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