This Is What Type Of Alcohol You Should Drink Tonight To Forget We’re All On Borrowed Time, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

friends drinking mugs of beer
Drew Farwell


Boones Farm

Because nothing makes you feel like you’re 19 again and have your whole life ahead of you like drinking four bottles of Boones Farm, amirite?


That cheap tequila with the red sombrero on the lid

After all, you might as well get a little festive while you get older and older by the second!


Gin and Tonic

Look calm and collected and not like you’ve been contemplating your fate by drinking a nice, cold G&T.


Four White Russians

Cozy up with your mortality and a few White Russians. It’ll warm ya right up.



Burn up the dancefloor and your esophagus with a few shots of good ‘ol Fireball. It’ll make you feel immortal until you wake up the next day with a raging headache. Lol fun!

*Pitbull not included.


The red wine of your choice

It’ll make you look/feel like everything is together and that we’re actually not on a spinning rock of death.


A 6-pack of Miller Lite

Lighten up and forget about the eternal darkness we’ll all eventually be swallowed by with some smooth and refreshing Miller Lite.



Because obviously.


Literally everything

Have the night of your life and actually welcome the idea of death once you have the hangover from hell the next morning. Cheers!



It pairs nicely with your existential dread.


Nice ass vodka

Forget your impending doom with the nice ass vodka of your choice.


Your tears

No booze for you!!! TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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