20 Uncomfortable Truths You Need To Accept In Order To Make The Most Of Your 20s

Sophia Sinclair

1. Hard work doesn’t mean you’ll always get what you want or that you’re entitled to succeed, but that doesn’t mean you’re exempt from doing your very best anyway.

2. Nothing is certain. Literally nothing. And that’s a scary fact, but learning to live with that uncertainty will set you free.

3. It really is a small world. People talk. Being unkind, difficult to work with, rude, etc. will always come back to bite you in the ass in one way or another.

4. Some of your best friends today may not be your best friends in the future for a myriad of reasons, which is all the more reason to love them like hell today.

5. Self-esteem is born when you’re able to acknowledge and be okay with the fact that you’re not perfect and are going to make mistakes. Self-destruction is born when you always expect yourself to get it right and fall apart when you inevitably fuck up.

6. Gossip is cheap conversation and will never make you feel better or look better. Be more interesting. Do better. Talk about something that will expand your mind not narrow it.

7. Heartbreak won’t always teach you some kind of ~lesson~ and there isn’t always a silver lining. Sometimes it just sucks and you’re going to have to deal with the pain anyway.

8. You have more control than you think you do and less control than you think you do. Learning to recognize when you do and when you don’t will save you a whole lot of trouble.

9. Deliberate living is mindful living. Reactive living is destructive living.

10. You’re not as important as you think you are, but you do matter.

11. Dating is a skillset. Not every person you go out with is going to teach you more about love or yourself or anything more than how to get through a beer with someone you aren’t really interested in. And that’s okay.

12. Self-care is crucial. Schedule and make it to your doctors’ appointments. Drink more water. Work out. Go to therapy if you need to. Taking care of yourself isn’t vain, it’s literally part of being a functional adult.

13. It’s true when they say hangovers get worse past 25. Sorry. You’re going to have to find other things to do than go to the bar every Friday. Also spending your day hungover Saturday will no longer cut it. You have shit to do.

14. Learning to live within your means will be one of the most important things you do. It’s not always fun, but it is necessary.

15. Relationships aren’t 50/50. There are going to be times when you’re going to have to put more in than the other party, and vice versa. Keeping score isn’t fair and will only lead to resentment, as well as damage the relationship. This goes for friends, family, and romantic partners.

16. Life isn’t fair and never will be. Stop expecting anything different.

17. Comparing yourself to others will only make you feel like shit. Based on a variety of factors, you’re right where you should be, even if you don’t feel too happy about it. Learn to work with where you are with what you’ve got.

18. The world isn’t against you.

19. There’s a lot of value in learning when to be quiet and just listen.

20. Your 20s aren’t the best years of your life and you shouldn’t want them to be. Your 20s are, however, among the most formative. Use this time to learn yourself better, love, hurt, adventure, and grow. After all, you’re not getting any younger than you are right now. TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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