T-Pain Just Founded ‘Wiscansin University’ And I Would Like To Enroll Please

YouTube / T Pain

T-Pain doesn’t just want to see your booty work; he wants to see what your brain can do too. The rapper has founded Wiscansin University. Yes. You read that right. Wiscansin University. And if this is actually real, I would like to enroll, please.

Classes include exactly what you would expect: The History Of Autotune, The Art of Sprung, Introduction To FBGM, Mixology, Accounting For Strippers, and more. Fuck my Michigan State education, this sounds more up my alley tbqh. I’m particularly interested in Mixology so I can stop almost killing my friend Sarah whenever I make her a drink that involves vodka. I would also be very into taking a class called Teddy’s T-Mixes 101, a class all about “the graceful art of DJing and rocking a crowd.” I think this would make the people in my life happier because no one ever seems too thrilled when I have control of the aux cord. (I have a feeling it has something to do with constantly playing Brand New or The Smashing Pumpkins when everyone just wants to bop to something less upsetting when we’re tryna pregame. Who knows though! It could also be because I change the song every 23 seconds. TBD.)

T-Pain ain’t got no problem spending all his money, but I do which is exactly why I’m in the current predicament I am with my credit card. I have scoured the site seeking information regarding tuition but have come up dry. Will report more if I am to find anything.

Anyway, the Wiscansin U site is here if you want to peruse. You can learn more about their faculty, which includes Dean T-Pain and The Vice President Of Student Affairs Andy Kambamba. There’s also an alumni section which includes Lil Wayne, DJ Khaled, and Chance The Rapper.

Anyway, hope to see you there. If I do, I’ll buy you a drank! Or, more likely, just give you a swig of the Fireball I threw in my purse because mama’s got bills to pay. TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

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