For The Times You’re Thinking Of Him When You Shouldn’t

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God & Man

For the times you’re thinking of him when you shouldn’t, rent Lady Bird and pour yourself a glass of Chardonnay, and then another. Cry more than you thought you would when Lady Bird realizes she’s merely another body to the guy she just slept with. Remember what it’s like to feel so small and insignificant and unseen, and realize that’s kind of how you feel right now too. Swallow the feeling.

For the times you’re thinking of him when you shouldn’t, read theories about alternate universes and outer space and wonder if there’s someplace that exists where things ended up working out. Roll your eyes at yourself. Close the tabs and lay down on your bed and just breathe. Deeply. Sink into a sleep that couldn’t be described as anything other than restless and realize the only dreams that visited you that evening were nightmares about him.

For the times you’re thinking of him when you shouldn’t, listen to Radiohead and wonder who Thom was singing about in “Fake Plastic Trees.” Resonate with the lyrics more than you’d like to admit. After all, you’re trying so hard to push thoughts of him away but you can’t help but see his eyes when the lyrics “I wish I could be who you wanted all the time” sift through the speakers. Turn the song.

For the times you’re thinking of him when you shouldn’t, put your phone somewhere you can’t reach and try and find out who you are without him, without anyone. Start writing in journals and sketching hands in charcoal and reading Looking For Alaska. Find yourself alone more and more often, and start to realize you don’t hate it like you used to.

For the times you’re thinking of him when you shouldn’t, slowly come to terms with the fact that maybe you can’t control what you remember or who resides in your heart. Come up with your own theory that maybe some people are meant to leave their marks on us and that maybe not all scars are caused by pain but rather deep, all-encompassing love that wasn’t meant to stay in a place other than our minds and maybe we were simply lucky to have known them at all.

The next time you’re thinking of him when you feel like you shouldn’t, allow yourself remember. Let yourself think about the time you sat alone together on a bench by the water on a cool summer night and his birthday and the margaritas and laughing so hard at a stupid YouTube video you both couldn’t breathe.

Remember it all and know it’ll all be okay anyway. TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

Poetry That Will Empower and Inspire You

Salt Water, the new poetry collection by Brianna Wiest, is a must-have book on your journey to healing. Grab a cup of tea and let these essential, purifying prose calm your mind and filter out the noise.

Salt Water is a slow deep breath, in and out. It sits in a new genre of poetry, somewhere between artistic self-expression and candid self-help. It is a meditation on acceptance, growth, and what it means to be human. Salt Water is the note you wrote to yourself years ago, which you find again when you most need it, that reminds you ‘it’s going to be okay.’”
—Lee Crutchley, Author of “How To Be Happy, Or At Least Less Sad”

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This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather
Let go now
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