Aries (March 21st to April 19th)
You’re the drunk friend who also gets everyone else drunk AF because you’re constantly buying rounds of shots or challenging everyone to chugging contests you know you’ll win. You’re a bit of an instigator, but it’s just because you love to have a good time and want to make sure everyone else does too.
Taurus (April 20th to May 20th)
You’re the drunk friend who is always trying to convince everyone that you’re not even that drunk, even though you are clearly very much hammered. You’re stubborn as hell and will try and prove that you’re “toootallly fineeeeeee, man” by doing another shot or buying another drink, even though everyone knows it’s a terrible idea. You’re also the drunk friend who always ends up the most hungover, which is not surprising at all, because you are too strong-willed to stop while you’re ahead.
Gemini (May 22nd to June 21st)
You’re the drunk friend who is always the first one on the dance floor and to challenge everyone and their brother to a dance battle. When you’ve been dranking, you get super restless and just want to move your body. You’re always the star of the show, pop, lock and dropping it into everyone and everything, always getting the party started.
Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd)
You’re the drunk friend who is a total wild card. No one ever knows what you’re going to do when you get smashed, except that the drunken tomfoolery you find yourself in will be entertaining as hell for everyone else. Dancing, shamelessly hitting on the bartender, disappearing for an hour and then coming back with a fifth. It’s always a lit time whenever you’re around.
Leo (July 23rd to August 22nd)
You’re the drunk friend who is everyone’s worst nightmare because you document literally everything on Snapchat. You’re like a ninja with your device, capturing every single spilled drink, sloppy moment, and off-key sing along. You are an owner of excellent blackmail and everyone is scared when you make a speech at their future wedding. Because they know what you have on them.
Virgo (August 23rd to September 22nd)
You’re the drunk friend who is also mother hen.You are always making sure everyone has had their water or reminding your crying friend in that bathroom that, yes, Brad, is such a dick!!11! You tend to get wrapped up in other’s drunken drama a lot and sometimes it comes at the sacrifice of your own good time.
Libra (September 23rd to October 22nd)
You’re the drunk friend who makes friends with every single person in the bathroom. Or at the bar. Or on the street. Or with the Uber driver. You’re always adding new numbers into your phone for brunch friends or inviting your Uber driver out or buying random people shots because you like their shoes. When you’re lit as hell, everyone has the possibility of becoming a future friend.
Scorpio (October 23rd to November 22nd)
You’re the drunk friend who tends to get a little feisty whenever you’ve had a couple. You have no filter and will always say what it is that you’re thinking. Sometimes it’s hilarious and harmless, but sometimes it gets you into trouble and you hurt people’s feeling or piss someone off. You’re the king or queen of “sry lol” texts the next morning. It’s okay, though. You’re just #honest.
Sagittarius (November 23rd to December 21st)
You’re the drunk friend who tends to get a little flirtatious when you’ve been drinking. Okay, not a little, you get full-on freaky when you’re drunk. Your goal of the night is always going home with the hottest person at the bar, or grinding up on someone at the club to “Back That Azz Up” by Juvenile while you twerk and make out with them all at once, which is simultaneously disturbing and impressive. You’re the best wing woman or man ever, though; because you know how to work it.
Capricorn (December 22nd to January 20th)
You’re the drunk friend who surprisingly can fucking drink. Usually, your week is all about spreadsheets and making moves in your career and working on 72 projects at once, but on Saturday night, oh bitches, it’s on. You’re the drunk friend who shocks everyone the next day because you’re not hungover, dead, or arrested. Nice.
Aquarius (January 21st to February 18th)
You’re the drunk friend who is also the drunken Plato. When you drink, you want to have deep ass conversations about the universe and human nature and politics and books and everything in between. You’re the ultimate philosopher and are always coming up with crazy theories and ideas that make more sense when you’re wasted, but it’s the thought that counts, right?
Pisces (February 19th to March 20th)
You’re the drunk friend who is literally hugging everyone at every possible second. You just think every single friend is the best friend ever and you always are the one to initiate the classic drunken heart to heart before everyone goes to sleep. You’re also the one everyone wishes would shut up when it turns 3 a.m. and you’re still rambling on about how much you fucking love Sarah. You’re peak Pisces when you’re drunk but no one would take you any other way.