10 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re A Highly Sensitive Extrovert

Oskar Krawczyk

1. You give a lot of second chances.

Being a highly sensitive extrovert, you are incredibly in tune with the emotions and feelings of others. Because of this, you are able to see situations from all angles and can easily forgive others when they hurt you. You understand that bad behavior often stems from a place of pain, and respond to such behavior with empathy instead (though, let’s be honest, it’s not always deserved).

2. Needing more alone time than what is considered ‘typical’ for an extrovert.

Empathy is a staple trait of the highly sensitive extrovert. You absorb energy from others, both the good and the draining. This can, understandably, be absolutely exhausting and so you need more time by yourself to simply rest and recharge.

3. Being extremely selective about who you spend your time with.

As stated above, your ability to pick up the feelings of others like a sponge can be pretty damn tiresome. So, you tend to make sure to hangout with people who generally energize and inspire you, rather than the opposite.

4. You seriously hate hookup culture and modern dating.

As a highly sensitive extrovert, you crave deep connection with other human beings, especially those you have a romantic relationship with. To you, there’s nothing like the spark of first getting to know someone you really vibe with. However, with today’s dating and hookup culture, that’s hard to come by. It’s all swipe, swipe swipe, ghost! And, man, do you loathe it.

5. Always seeing the best in others.

Even when someone is at their worst, you can still see all the good that makes that person who they are. You realize that everyone is flawed, with pains and pasts and sensitivities that the world doesn’t (and can’t) alway see. You like to be the one that tells others, especially those you hold dear, that you still see them through their rough patches. That you know they’re still good. That they’re still worthy of love.

6. You don’t take take criticism well.

You’re incredibly sensitive and a people person, so you tend to not take criticism very well. Since a lot of your self worth is derived from others, when someone shows that they disagree with the way you did or said something, it can feel excruciating and invalidating. You really have a tough time hearing when you’ve done something wrong in the eyes of another. (You’re working on it, though.)

7. Going out of your way to make others feel comfortable.

You can sense when someone is shy or nervous, and will do everything in your power to make sure they feel like they belong and are having fun, even if it comes at the cost of your own good time.

8. You love engaging with new people (but your feelings get hurt easily).

Since you take the opinions of others very seriously, you’re far more vulnerable to getting your feelings hurt, especially in new situations. Big group outings with new acquaintances cause you some serious anticipation and anxiety. While it does sound incredibly fun, it’s also incredibly daunting to you because you’re worried about whether they’ll like you, if you’ll say something stupid, etc.

9. Preferring deep conversations over small talk.

You’re personable, so you can make small talk, no problem. But, you pretty much hate it. You’d rather get to know someone through their dreams, their philosophies, their past, etc. You want to get down to the nitty, gritty details of what makes people, well, them. You genuinely want to get to know people, and sometimes just talking about the weather won’t tell you what you want and need to know.

10. Hiding what you really feel.

The most surprising thing about being a highly sensitive extrovert is that you’re actually very good at hiding what you truly feel, be that sadness, jealousy, anger, or hurt. After all, you’ve often been told that you’re being “too sensitive” or “too much.” You’ve learned to turn down the volume on your emotions because you don’t want to be perceived badly, or to make others uncomfortable. You crave connection and sometimes that comes at the cost of your own feelings. TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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