Dear Kid Cudi, Your Depression Is Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

Dear Kid Cudi,

I heard you checked yourself into rehab on Tuesday. You explained to us, your fans, in a raw and heartfelt letter on Facebook that you have been dealing with “depression and suicidal urges” and would need to seek professional help. You said you felt ashamed for what you felt, being a leader and hero to us and admitting that you weren’t as okay as you tried to appear.

But the truth is, I’m so proud of you for seeking the help you need. Not only proud, but relieved.

Because here’s the thing: I’ve been there, Cudi. And depression and anxiety is some real fucking awful shit.

It’s lonely and isolating and painful.
The anxiety makes you feel like you’re falling with no end in sight. You’re just falling, falling, falling and just waiting to hit the ground that never comes, but you still feel like it’s there somewhere. And the depression? That’s the darkness that surrounds you as you fall. Just utter bleakness as you simultaneously scramble to try and stop yourself from falling and give up almost in the same breath. It’s exhausting. It’s dangerous.

It’s illness.

Of course, everyone’s depression festers differently, so I can’t say I know 100% what you’re going through, or what feelings have led you to believe that you and your life aren’t worth it. But I know what it’s like to feel so hopeless you can’t get up in the morning. I know what it’s like to withdraw from the support you have because you feel like you’re not worthy of love and belonging. I get it. I do. And I also know this:

You’re going to be okay.

It’s going to take hard, diligent work and “commitment,” as you so eloquently put it yourself, but you’re going to get there. Even when you’re feeling so utterly broken and like all the pieces of yourself are all scattered across the floor, you’ll begin to pick them back up. You’ll put yourself back together.

You get better.

And when you do, we’ll be here. And so will you. And that’s all we really care about.

You’re putting forward a great example as a leader and hero by seeking the treatment you need to heal. So no need to be ashamed, Scott. You probably saved more than a couple of lives today. You let some kids know that you can get help, that you can be okay.

Anyway, you’re in my thoughts. I wish you all the best in the world. You got this.

Much love,

A fellow depressed kid Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

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