9:30 PM on a Wednesday
Post Grad: “Wow, I’m in bed at such a good time. I’m going to get a whopping 7-ish hours of sleep!!!! I’ll even be able to make it to the gym in the morning.”
Undergrad: *Gets up from nap and cracks open a beer to pregame because your favorite bar has the best deals on Wednesdays*
Post Grad: Gmail is synced on your phone and you check it religiously throughout the day. Signs off all emails with “Best, [insert your name here].”
Undergrad: Checks email once in the morning to see if class is canceled. (It’s not.)
Post Grad: “Can I get a glass of Cab, please?”
Undergrad: “Who’s ready for Wendy Winehands?! I have two bottles of Barefoot and I’m ready to gooooo!”
Post Grad: You look at clothes for equal parts longevity, style and fit. You also consider whether the pieces you pick out can double up for work attire. All of your hangers match. You have a day designated for laundry. You actually consider what’s in your closet a wardrobe.
Undergrad: Forever 21 is your Mecca. You look for clothes that you can wear to class than can be quickly transferred to bar appropriate. When you can’t muster up quarters for laundry, you turn to your your clever concoction of equal parts Febreze, perfume and prayer.
Post Grad: *Maintains an Excel spreadsheet for your budget, complete with due dates and how much you have going into your 401K. Routinely reads about personal finance and attempts to understand the stock market*
Undergrad: *Sets up a GoFundMe in hopes that someone can help you pay your electric bill on time*
Post Grad: You’ve moved on from Tinder to Bumble because you realize the guys are hotter, less letchy and that you only deserve the best. You’ll discover that boys still ghost, but you now know that these aren’t the ones for you anyway. After all, you date men, not boys.
Undergrad: What’s dating? GIrlfriend, good college guys are few and in between. You know more ghosts than you thought you’d ever cross, and they’re not friendly like Casper. You learn the art of textual attraction and the difference between someone who asks you for coffee and one who says, “Wassupppppp?” at 2 AM. Patience, my friend. It gets better.