This Is What His Tinder Profile Pic Says About His Dating Life

iStockPhoto.com / CoffeeAndMilk
iStockPhoto.com / CoffeeAndMilk

Shirtless Mirror Selfie

This fellow thinks the way to your heart is through his washboard abs, but little does he know all you really want is a pizza. He doesn’t really understand women and his drink of choice is a whey protein shake. Boring, just boring.

Shirtless Mirror Selfie In Black And White

He’s a tool, but a sensitive tool. He takes himself too seriously and doesn’t share his french fries. Lives by the Wayne Gretzky’s quote about missing the shots you never take and typically messages first. Will be gentlemanly at for awhile, but will most likely later allude to his talented hands.

Featuring A Baby That DON’T WORRY ISN’T HIS!!!!!!!

Ugh. This dude. This is the guy who is trying to manipulate your ovaries by using a baby he didn’t help create to appear paternal and sensitive. Most likely a sociopath. Thinks Ross and Rachel were on a break. Stay away.

Group Pic Of Him And #Daboys

His friends are important to him, which is a great sign. However, if he has no other pics of just him, he’s probably hoping you think he’s the hot friend. Be wary, but also maybe give him a chance because he might have a good personality.

Guy Who Goes On Fucking Fantastic Adventures

Two words: commitment issues. If half of his pictures are him backpacking across Europe, he’s only looking for something casual. He’s fun and relaxed, but takes 18 hours to respond to a text message, so planning to meet up with this man may prove difficult.

Brooding Black And White Selfie

He has so many *~emotions~* and thinks he’s prettier than you. He was probably a philosophy major in college and is a walking Pinterest quote board that knows way more about what you should be doing with your life than you do. Cries after sex. Likes cats. Do yourself a favor and swipe left.

Pic Surrounded By Beautiful Women

He probably got rejected by the first girl he asked to prom, and now wants to show the world that he’s desirable. There’s a chance he’s talking to 30 girls at once and will most likely say something inappropriate to you after the initial “what’s up?”, which you probably won’t respond to.

Guy With His Dog

This is a fun loving dude. He’s loyal and takes you to dinner and not to his apartment on the first date. 374637467364 extra points if the dog is a Golden Retriever. Swipe right, girl. SWIPE RIGHT.

Guy With Dog That Isn’t His

He lies about his penis size. That is all. TC mark

Molly Burford

Writer. Editor. Hufflepuff. Dog person.

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