I Stayed Because I Knew I Loved You

I knew that I loved you when I watched you and just randomly laughed at you while you ate your fries at McDonald’s. I knew that I loved you when I would get excited like a kid’s inside a candy store every time you would call me just to say “hi” and ask if I have eaten yet or ask about the food that I just ate.

I knew that I loved you when we were by the benches looking at the three stars that were connecting and how we both glanced at each other and smiled. I knew that I loved you at how we both laughed after we ordered the wrong food at the ramen place. I knew that I loved you when you called me jokingly asking if you could go with me to pick up my nana at the airport at midnight and you did. I knew that I loved you when we were just sitting inside your car in silence and laugh out of nowhere.

I knew that I loved you; I knew that I was fucking in love with you when we were walking down the busy streets when we stood by the corner our eyes connecting just staring at each other while the whole place seemed to turn into silence and time slowed for a moment. And us looking into each other, not a single word was said but our eyes said it, three words. “I love you.”

Even through our tough days, when I saw you drunk I still couldn’t read you; I never understood why things have changed. Part of you looked like you were hurting and the other part of you seemed like you gave up on fighting for us.

So I fought for us when you couldn’t. I knew that I still loved you.

When you kept telling me how much you still loved me when you told me how the universe was trying to bring us back together as if we were meant for each other. Then I remembered I had to wake up because that wasn’t you, that weren’t you speaking but instead that were you speaking your drunk thoughts. And just like I feared the next day you were gone. But I still loved you.

I love you but your love didn’t last long as I thought it would. Our time was cut short and it angers me at how selfish the world can get; letting two people close together just to tear them apart, but that’s how life works and I can’t blame the pain on you because I chose this. And I never regretted letting myself fall for you.

The 6th of January. The busy street, the way our eyes met; is still the reason why I love you. These are the reason, and this is how I knew that I love you.