Despite The Heartache, I’d Still Choose You

Josh Felise
Josh Felise

I still can’t seem to find the right words to say every time our friends would ask me why you left and why I stayed. It’s been weeks since you told me to let go of whatever we had without clear explanation. I’d ask you to stay but it seemed like you didn’t want it anymore, though you told me that you still loved me.

I guess that’s the reason why I chose to stay because you told me that you still loved me even if it didn’t show anymore. You knew I would still be around; maybe it wasn’t your intention to come back whenever you felt like you needed to be loved then leave right after, but it looked that way ever since you left. And as a person who always put a smile on their face and shows people that they’re completely fine; as much as I don’t want to admit it, it hurts.

It hurts because I still care, it hurts because I’m still hoping; at least a small part of me still tells me that there’s hope for us and it hurts because I still love you- and you don’t.

Sometimes I’d like to think if I ever cross your mind. When you pass by the places we’ve been through, do you see my ghost? Does it haunt you the same way yours haunts me? When you blast your favorite song and it shuffles to the song we both listened to, do you see me by the passenger seat singing every single word? When you see a car that looks like mine, do you see me getting in waving goodbye? When your new girl tells you that she loves you, can you still hear me?

I let go because you told me to. But I made a promise that I would wait for you and so did you. But you’re gone now. And there’s nothing I can do to make your heart beat again, and I can’t blame you if your heart doesn’t beat the same way for me anymore. My heart still aches for you, and if time would allow me to go back, I’d choose to love you all over again.

I know I will be able to move on, not now but maybe soon. But until then, I will always be rooting for you and for your love. TC mark

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