Throughout our lives, people come and go — some stay for a little while; some stay longer. It is as if friends are like music, where we listen to one genre for a few years and move on to the next as trends change and our tastes alter.
With friends, it is a matter of timing — being in the right place at the right time, and we shall meet again.
Some have gotten married and start disappearing from social gatherings. Some have babies and start hanging out with other moms instead. Some move to another city or another country. Some change their passion and interests. Some change jobs and have bonded with people at work.
But regardless of how many friends we have in our lives or how many cycles we have gone through, there is one thing that we are always searching for — and that is someone we can call a “best friend.”
I am a traveler at heart. I have moved to three different cities since I turned 18. Needless to say, my life has always been on a roller coaster. I really enjoy discovering new things, checking out new cafes and bars, meeting new people, and learning about new cultures. The challenge of trying to fit in in a new society and getting to know the new place really excites me. Somehow once I have gotten to know a city well enough that I no longer feel excited I start to get bored. Then the next thing I know is that I think about moving to a new city once again.
However, no matter how beautiful being transient is, there is one thing that is painful — it is “missing your best friend.”
I certainly feel like finding a new best friend is as hard as finding your soul mate.
I’d rather have one best friend than ten casual friends.
And when I say best friend, I mean someone with whom you’ve naturally clicked and are compatible, who shares a similar worldview and perspective of the world, similar attitudes, core values, interests, and a similar sense of humor.
It’s just beyond hard to find that person.
Maybe I am picky. Maybe I am weird. Maybe I am just too selfish to compromise for anything less than a compatible soul.
Life goes on. People move on. You move to a new city. You start a new job or a new business. You meet new people. You start hanging out with the people you’ve just met. But none can replace those one or two people in your life you call best friends.
No matter how long it has been since you last met or how far apart you are, whenever you meet again it feels like home.
It really does.
They just get your jokes. You two can read each other’s mind. You can literally finish sentences for each other. You let each other decide on choices on where to go, what to eat, what to do — because simply, you both just have the same taste and like similar things.
You both have the same definition for what friendship means. You define and find happiness in a similar way. You discover joy from being in each other’s presence. You understand each other without explanation. You know how to put each other’s mind at ease when one is in pain. You know what’s best for each other and you can instantly tell if the person he/she’s dating is not right for him/her.
In all circumstances in life, it takes two lonely hearts to find each other. Occupied and satisfied minds are not usually receptive to another bonding. But those two hearts also need to have a connection, a soul connection.
A random but coincidental event brings them together and gives birth to a life-long friendship mutually cherished. It’s always unplanned just like meeting your potential life partner. It’s instant connection that makes your heart feel warm. It comes with surprises when you find out you both have so many similarities — like eating the same kind of food, going to the same kind of places and events, reading the same books, and listening to the same genre of music.
How many best friends can one have in life, I wonder.
Now I wish I could teleport myself to Melbourne and London to see the three people I’ve ever called and still call best friends.